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Here’s to Wonderful

I was telling the Expert tonight at dinner, “I have blogged nothing about this taper.”

He said, “So what.”

Then I am reminded by SBM die-hard, Debbie, on Facebook tonight that I used to blog a lot during taper.

Dang. Tough crowd. Damned if you do…

So taper. What is different this time? What is the same?

Well, my nutrition has continued to be great. Except for the wine that I am using to calm my nerves and not puke every time I think about Ironman Lake Placid.

Puke? Why? Am I ready? What could I have done differently?

Lots of questions.

Lake Placid was a last minute add-on event. I hadn’t trained all winter with Placid in mind… rather, I had the opportunity to jump in to the race, and I took it… not thinking, WOW – that’s not a ton of time.

So part of me thinks, “I am not ready.”

Then the part of me that has ridden mountains and hills ridiculous numbers of times thinks, “What are you talking about Willis. I mean, really.”

Part of me looks at my fantastic TrainingPeaks #s, my long run data, and goes: “No, sister. You’re in the best shape of your life.”

Somehow even more scary. I should perform well. What if I don’t?

Then in the words of the Expert: “So what?”

EXACTLY.

This is Ironman. I do this because it makes me happy, it shows my kids that the impossible IS possible and it keeps me sane.

That’s what matters. THAT is it.

So that’s where I am.

Great. Scared. Not too great. Awesome. Trying not to puke.

Because for the FIRST TIME in all of my racing life, I have set myself up for the BEST me possible. The best race that I can put forth, in this time, in this body.

And really, that scares the ever-living shit out of me.

I am scared of failing. I am scared of not putting up the walls of excuses that I have put up in the past. I am scared of being completely vulnerable.

Again… SO WHAT?

Because what is on the other side of fear?

Everything amazing.

So I am flipping the coin and looking to that side. What is that quote…? Everything wonderful is on the other side of fear? Everything you’ve ever wanted? Whatever.

There. Let’s go with that. Wonderful.

Here’s to WONDERFUL.

#5days

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23 Comments

  • Beryl LeBoeuf

    July 21, 2015 at 8:08 pm

    You are such an inspiration. You will be awesome and I can’t wait to read your race report. Best of luck!! Not that you’ll need luck.

    Reply
  • Arren A

    July 21, 2015 at 8:58 pm

    Yay you! Just remember, Ironman is a pump, not a filter! You can totally finish this thing! Just remember what an inspiration you are, because you rock! Go girl!

    Reply
  • Janice

    July 22, 2015 at 7:54 am

    YOU are going to be amazing. I have two friends racing LP this weekend as well. I only wish I could be up there to spectate and cheer everyone on. We all have doubts as a big day approached but know you have put in the training time, reworked your nutrition and are seeing/feeling the benefits of both. This isn’t your first IM rodeo from what I read so trust yourself and believe in yourself. And most importantly, enjoy the race (or most of it). All the pics you post to inspire all your readers and athletes show you with a huge smile on your face. Hopefully this will be part of your race and most certainly your finish line pic. Go Meredith go! You are going to be awesome.

    Reply
  • Jackie

    July 22, 2015 at 9:05 am

    New SBM t-shirt “the impossible IS possible.” Bust through that wall of fear! Can’t wait to see what’s on the other side!!

    Reply
  • Dawn

    July 22, 2015 at 10:34 am

    I am a baby triathlete. My first sprint tri ever is on August 16th. And I am scared! You can best believe I will be channeling you that day, as I do every day when I am swimming, biking, running, mom-ing, working and all the stuff. And you’ll be channeling all of us at Placid, while we are virtually cheering you, yelling “Yes, you can!!!!!”. And you will! Thank you for being so open with your joy and pain…because it makes a huge difference. More than you will ever know.

    Get ’em, girl!!!!!!

    Reply
  • Laura

    July 22, 2015 at 12:36 pm

    It really rings true to me when you say your’re a bit scared. I’m so used to sandbagging, and setting my expectations so low that I have no choice but to exceed them. But when you really put the work in…yeah, that’s terrifying.
    You have a great insight on why you do this and such a great approach. Love it, and I’m going to be rooting for you! What’s your bib number?

    Reply
  • Kate

    July 22, 2015 at 2:15 pm

    You will do amazing! You will have a great experience and like you said, that’s what matters! For what it’s worth – this was the first year I ever actually TRAINED for sprint-distance triathlon. I can absolutely empathize with your feelings about how it’s different and the what-ifs and the fears. But let me tell you – my first sprint of the season I surprised myself… big time! You will too. Keep on moving forward!!! 🙂

    Reply
  • Heather

    July 22, 2015 at 3:30 pm

    And you have always said it best – “you GET to do it.” 🙂 Keep remembering the training you have done, the experience you have, and feel the love from your tribe. We are all so, so proud of you. So thankful for you! Stay strong and keep enjoying the journey. You, my dear, have got this. 🙂

    Reply
  • Beth E.

    July 22, 2015 at 3:32 pm

    Meredith, you’re going to be great. You have been in such a different mindset (as far as we know) this time. You’ve got enough experience now to know what to do and what not to do. As my friend always tells me, “Just go out and do what you do.” No one can ask for anything more than that! Have a great day out there!

    Reply
  • Kate

    July 22, 2015 at 8:55 pm

    Pretty much a lurker, coming out from behind the keyboard to wish you all the very best in the race this weekend. I am mostly a runner (I’ve done a handful of sprint triathlons) and I am fascinated by the Iron distance. Not in the “I want to race the Iron distance” kind of way. But in the way that is in awe of the dedication and determination and fortitude and courage it takes to tackle something like that. I’ve run 3 marathons and while that pales in comparison to what you will undertake this weekend, I know you are about to enter sacred space. That is so hard, but here we are on the other side of the computer cheering you on and offering nothing but mad respect and support to you for daring greatly, no matter the outcome.

    Reply
  • Alli

    July 23, 2015 at 10:42 am

    I am so excited for you – you worked so hard on all fronts and I am sure ( yes I am :-)) that you will have a good time!! Trust in yourself and more so ENJOY it- we will all be rooting for you at the weekend!! Lots of love, xx

    Reply
  • Arren A

    July 27, 2015 at 7:19 pm

    So. Much. Yay! Fifteen and some change, and a LP finish is under the belt!!! It must have been the nutritionist and coach and all those long, hardcore training rides that totally got you over the hump! All those hours training and away from the family are totally worth it! Onward to Louisville!!! You rock, girl! That finish was totally what I needed right now. You’re such an inspiration! Can’t wait to read the race report and to see what you’ll do to really pour it on for the next race!

    Reply

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