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Ambassador Spotlight: Erin Sublett

Spotlight for this week is on SBMAT Ambassador, Erin Sublett.  Her story really struck a chord with me. She is an amazing woman turning one of the greatest losses into inspiration for others.  Proud to have her on the Team, and inspired by her mission.

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Erin Sublett

 Erin Sublett

“I still wholeheartedly consider myself a Swim Bike Mom, though my little one is not here, and I hope to encourage others who have experienced loss to find hope and healing through triathlon…”

City/State: San Diego, CA

Age Group: 31-35

Biggest Inspiration: My husband.  He is strong and supportive, just an amazingly loving man.  He supports me in all of my training and pushes me to achieve my best.  He loves to find me at the last mile of a race and “encourage” me to finish strong and hard.  He’s also quite fast and I want to eventually beat him in something!

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Scary 2015 Goal: Vineman 70.3, I always enjoy running 13.1 miles in 90 degree heat!  Oh, and did I mention 2000 feet of climbing?  Love running hills, hate biking hills.

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How Triathlon Changed Me: Triathlon has been a big part of my life for the last two years.  My love for running began a few years before I even knew what triathlon was.  My husband and I were unhappy and it showed in how we treated each other and how we took care of ourselves.  He started running and in an effort to spend time with him, I picked up the habit as well.

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Before we knew it, our marriage was repairing itself, and we both lost over 70lbs each.  Now being healthy and happy should be enough, but of course we wanted another challenge.  So my husband started triathlon and, again, I had to keep up, so I started as well and fell in love!  Triathlon has challenged me in more ways than I expected, allowing my husband and I to flourish in both our relationship and health.  We have also found it to be an amazing and supportive community to be a part of.

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I Race For: My daughter, Reagan.  I used to race for myself, and then I found a love that is greater than all: the love for my daughter.  I found out I was pregnant for the first time in December of 2013, a day of amazement and joy as we had worked very hard to start a family.  Triathlon took a back seat for me while I was pregnant, but supported my husband through his first Ironman.  After a beautiful and uncomplicated pregnancy, we heard the most devastating words at our daughter’s 35th week, “there is no heartbeat.”

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My world ended as I knew it.  We delivered a beautiful sleeping baby girl on July 22nd, 2014.  I have never experienced such pain and sorrow, but I have also experienced a deeper love that I could ever have imagined.  For this, I know I have to heal, I have to keep moving forward, I have to honor my daughter.  I race for her, for the time she didn’t have here on earth, the steps she will never take.  I do this for her.

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Favorite Piece of Gear: I have fun with my gear and I get excited when I get new stuff!  I love my Asics Gel-OS trainers, I love my Felt B12 bike lovingly named “Tink” – short for Tinkerbell, and I enjoy my yoga mat when I need a moment to breath.

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How I Pay It Forward: I have unwillingly joined the Infant and Pregnancy Loss world, but have found the most amazing support and wonderful people through this.

I hope to open up conversations about miscarriage and stillbirth and how it truly is a loss of a child and should be honored.

I still wholeheartedly consider myself a Swim Bike Mom, though my little one is not here, and I hope to encourage others who have experienced loss to find hope and healing through triathlon.

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What Else You Should Know About Me: I feel as my daughter’s death has changed me.  I used to think of myself as fun-loving, spontaneous, encouraging . . . now I’m not sure what I think of myself.  I’m trying to be strong, trying to be motivated, trying to not fall apart.

In the real world, I work as a trauma and neurology nurse, I love to rock climb, attempting to be a yogi.  Traveling is a passion and love to race wherever I go.  Today, I write about my loss, I cry, I sleep, I hold my daughter’s only blanket.  I get up to go to yoga and I’ve done a few runs.

Grief is hard.

I’ve been told it never gets easier; you just get better at it.  So that is what I am doing, I’m getting better at it.

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How to Follow Me:

My Blog: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/reaganelizabethsmom

Twitter: http://twitter.com/erinmarie722

Instagram: http://instagram.com/erinmarie722

16 Comments

  • misszippy

    February 2, 2015 at 9:30 am

    Wow. What an incredible story you have to tell. I am so sorry for your loss and wish you strength through the grieving process. I have no doubt your little angel watches over you every single day. Wishing you all the best.

    Reply
  • Emily

    February 2, 2015 at 10:24 am

    Thank you so much for sharing your story, I can only imagine how difficult it was to write the words down on paper and consider putting it out there. There are many people praying for you in this difficult time.

    Reply
  • Cameron Hamblin

    February 2, 2015 at 11:28 am

    What an amazing story of strength and truly moving forward. Thank you for sharing with all of us! And yes, you most certainly are a SBM!!!

    Good luck at Vineman! I’ve done it twice (I live in the Bay Area) and it’s a great course, support and just beautiful. Look forward to following your race!

    -Cameron

    Reply
  • cheryl

    February 2, 2015 at 11:37 am

    What an amazingly strong lady you are to share your story. I am so sorry for your loss and glad you are finding some joy through running and triathlon. Have a great season!

    Reply
  • Alicia

    February 2, 2015 at 11:55 am

    TEARS! I am feeling heartbroken and inspired at the same time. Your little angel is always with you Erin. I am moved by the way you honor her everyday. Best of everything for you and your family and know you have lots of people cheering you on in your triathlon journey. Your strength has and will inspire so many women!!

    Reply
  • Dolores M

    February 2, 2015 at 12:13 pm

    Thank you for sharing. I can not imagine the struggle you go through. Your story will be an inspiration to many I am sure. Blessings to you and your husband

    Reply
  • Debbe Fernandez

    February 2, 2015 at 1:20 pm

    Erin,
    Your story really touched me and I know it will inspire others!!! I love the motivation you feel by running for Reagan. That is so touching! Know that you WILL see your little angel again someday. She will know you and you and Brandon will know her. Picture her on Jesus’s lap right now. He’s cradling her til you meet again. All my Love… Debbie

    Reply
  • Melinda

    February 2, 2015 at 2:19 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story! My husband and I experienced a miscarriage this past year, and I have spent the past nine months regaining control of my body. I say that because I felt my body had failed me, and I couldn’t stand the thought. After the loss of our baby I received words of condolences. I now know that those condolences came from a place of love, but at the time “It just wasn’t meant to be”, “It’s all in God’s plan”, “At least you can get pregnant” or “It will work out next time” were not what I wanted or needed to hear. They all seemed to diminish the value of our baby’s short life. For me it wasn’t short, I had already planned out the next 20 years. Sitting on the couch just wasn’t helping me heal, so I got back on my saddle and laced up those running shoes. My healing process has lead me back to believing in myself. It is amazing to see and feel what your body is capable of healing from. Infant and pregnancy loss seems to be a topic that those who have not experienced it seem to have difficulty talking about. The fact that you are so openly putting it out there brings me hope that those who have to go through this will find peace in knowing that they aren’t alone.

    Reply
  • Beverly

    February 2, 2015 at 3:18 pm

    Dear Erin, I have always been so amazed and inspired by you and your husband. You two have a very special love and although I am deeply saddened by your profound loss, I am again amazed and inspired by how you writing about it here and giving to others and taking the best care of you that a Mom could. God bless you. No words could ever express how very sorry I am for your loss…I love you and am glad you are pushing forward in the name of your daughter and honoring her in this way.

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  • Kim

    February 2, 2015 at 4:25 pm

    Erin, Thank you for sharing your story. Today as I sit and think about what is next on my 2015 calendar. I did my first Sprint Tri 5 1/2 years ago after watching helplessly my dad die of cancer. I needed an outlet. I needed it for several years. But there were other things I wanted more like children. And like you my beautiful son Logan was born at 38 weeks asleep. He was my first. He was absolutly beautiful. Following his death I was consumed with grief. I wanted nothing more than to have a baby. 360 days later I gave birth to another baby boy. Logan’s “Irish twin.” Aiden truly saved my life. 18 months after that another baby boy. My days were busy and my life is blessed. I always wanted lots of children so after some convincing and numerous dr visits. We had another baby. A girl. I feel like she was given to me to help me heal and move on. However, it was after the death of my dad that I turned and started focusing on myself. My first sprint tri was charity. A camp for kids suffering with cancer and their families. Finally, I didn’t feel helpless and I could help children. During all the events that day I cried. I cried for my baby boy, I cried for my dad, I cried for the huge piece of my heart that is empty. I cried because I said good-bye to not only my son on April 11 but the person I was. I cried because through all my suffering I was still here. I was still pushing ahead. I was taking it one stroke, one turn and one step at a time. You are amazing and I appreciate you sharing your story and giving me a chance to talk on this cold snowy day. All we can do is tri our best in the moment. Much love, Kim

    Reply
  • Jen

    February 3, 2015 at 12:54 am

    Beautiful words and what a beautiful little girl. I’m so sorry for your loss and that you had to go through losing your baby. Yes grief is hard but you can also write your own story. I found very little of what grief books said to be true. Yes you will never get over your daughter but in your own time one your own terms you’ll find ways to be joyful and find peace. Having a passion that moves your body and calms your mind like running, cycling and swimming also helps! Take care and thanks for sharing your story.

    Reply
  • Kati

    February 3, 2015 at 1:20 pm

    Always remember to “listen to the unwritten symphonies in your footsteps.” Each stride will bring you forth through each stage of grief, sometimes happy, angry, sad, confused – just keep moving forward. The movement will help to heal. Sending lots of love your way.

    Reply
  • Susan Stewart

    February 4, 2015 at 12:31 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story. Please accept my deepest condolences for your loss. Sending prayers and love your way. Susan

    P. S. I will be at Vineman, this is my second year. Please let me know if you have any questions and I hope to see you there. I am Daisy Grant on FB. Thank you again.

    Reply
  • cheryl

    February 4, 2015 at 7:34 pm

    Such a strong and brave lady. So sorry for your loss. To keep going on a daily basis must be so difficult.
    Thinking of you and your family.

    Reply

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