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A Whole New Taper Worm

I have written about the Taper Worm before.

This Taper Worm is a part of racing.


And the Expert and I are headed straight to Ironman 70.3 Florida in six days, and there is a serious problem happening…

Oh, the fact that very little swimming and biking and running happening…

For those of you new to triathlon, you may wonder what in the fresh hell I am talking about by the Taper Worm.


Taper:   the time before a big race where you greatly reduce your training to give your body a chance to recover, and your mind an opportunity to sink into the deepest depths of triathlon fresh hell – full of doubt and fear and general insanity.  Hence, the Taper Worm.  It’s gross and it wiggles and slimes its way across your entire body, finally settling in the little wiggles in the brain, and camping out there… placing its little taper worm poos all over the place.

Well, I hate taper.  Who doesn’t.


Swim Bike Mom… and Swim Bike Mom’s MOM!!

So in an self-sabotagy way, I scheduled the Swim Bike Family move during taper. That way, I didn’t have to think about tapering.

But… like most excellent plans that I come up with, I really did this one well.

We cleaned out a garage. I packed boxes for a week. Then I painted a Swim Bike Kid’s room. (Strength training!).  Then we moved.  My parents came up and Dad put together a dozen things that came in boxes, and Mom took the Swim Bike Kids to a bouncy house place to get them out of our hair… Then the Expert and I hoisted and pulled and moved and walked for three straight days.



And we have done zero Swim Bike Run workouts in one week.  I have, however, been on my feet for no less than 12 hours a day since Wednesday.  

[I feel quite strong, actually.]


So this race is going to be a VERY interesting.

I am the most under-trained for this 70.3, so I am not expecting any miracles out there. I can estimate this to likely be my slowest 70.3. With my prior 70.3 times being 7:11 (2011 –Miami), 6:36 (2012 – Augusta), and 7:04 (2013 – Augusta)- I really think we might be talking a good, solid 8 hour finish out there.

And that’s just fine with me.

Because, I can also estimate some other things.


Because every house needs a bicycle rug!

It may darn well be my happiest 70.3.  I know that the race will likely be a suffer-fest, because of my training.  But my mind is in a such a good place.

For where my triathlon training is in the gutter, the rest of my world seems to finally (finally) be rotating on an axis of sanity, instead of spinning out of control.

My Taper Worm… which usually is the worst thing ever, has actually been full of great blessings and good things.


  • Melanie J.

    April 7, 2014 at 3:01 pm

    Sending cool weather vibes your way, cuz I lived in Florida for far too long and know what a nonexistent entity that can be. Loving the headspace you’re in going into this race, and wishing you luck getting past any physical roadblocks. And a HUGE thank you for your inspirational blog, because in part thanks to that, I completed my first 5K in years yesterday. I’m unbelievably sore and whiny, and I can’t wait to get serious about my training and sign up for another one!

  • Shannon M.

    April 7, 2014 at 3:46 pm

    Have more faith in yourself! It’s not like you’ve been sitting around eating bonbons. I take ridiculously long tapers before races (usually because of overuse) and I feel fantastic afterwards. I bet you smoke your previous times!!!!

  • Ashley

    April 7, 2014 at 4:35 pm

    You’ll do awesome! So happy you found a great house, too 🙂 my training hasn’t been on par but I’m so excited for Ironman 70.3 St. George in three weeks!

  • laura

    April 7, 2014 at 9:22 pm

    Thank goodness for you new post as I sit here and wait for my newly licensed driver to arrive home from a shopping trip. I need something to keep my mind off the fact that my baby is behind the wheel in a rainstorm without me!

    I love tapers…I am usually so sore and tired by race week, I can hardly wait to do little or nothing. I am on week 6 of the 16 week plan. This weekend was HARD. HARD. mmmmm hmmmmm….ten miles on my feet and 3 hours on my ahhhhh…a$$. 😉 That was one long ride on the trainer. Longest ever. Pray for sun and temps above freezing for this weekend or someone gets a fork in the eye. (Erie, PA…gotta love it)

    You’ll be great! Can’t wait to read about it! I live for race reports!! Especially yours!

  • Morgan

    April 7, 2014 at 11:04 pm

    I have nothing super profound to say but thank the goodness I found your blog when I did! I am currently 6 weeks out from my second sprint Tri- everything going great & this weekend the double whammy of seasonal allergies & the usual Alaskan spring snow…..ruined my outdoor brick! Then I read this post today after feeling stressed all day at work fretting about my missed brick, I realized it’s not all go go go but also the time outs & mental journeys. Thank you for all your inspiration- you are my sunshine indoors tonight on my bike trainer! I am sending good karma vibes from the land of the midnight sun down your way 🙂

  • Sarah F

    April 8, 2014 at 7:43 am

    Just enjoy the race to the best of your ability. I always try to be grateful for the day and the ability to be out there. The rest will fall into place where ever it may. No need to stress about it. Enjoy! And congrats on the new home!!!


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