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A Broken Ass

I fell on Sunday and cracked my ass. Sorry for saying ass. But “cracking my butt” doesn’t have the same ring of truth. Or harshness.  I apologize. Don’t lecture me.  I am going to say it ALOT (a lot) in this post.

So yes, Sunday I fell. And I fell hard.

And it hurt.  I suffered through Sunday night. I waited through Monday (skipped workout). And yesterday (swam 3000 – nothing else) and then worked a 10 hour day at the desk (ouch).  I woke up today, expecting to feel better.  Wasn’t the case.  I’m in an ass-ton of pain.  I’m going to keep typing “ass” because it makes me feel better. Sorry.

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It’s fitting. Come on.

Luckily, I was scheduled to see Dr. Miracle Man Hands.  Before I went to see him, I thought I could get in 2 hours of my ass on the trainer.

30 minutes later, I was scrunchy-cry face in pain.  Aero position hurt because it stretched the ass; upright hurt because it compressed the ass. (Okay, fine.. I will stop saying ass now.)

So I got off the bike.  Hopped on the treadmill—knowing I couldn’t run—but thinking I could huff a good, fast-paced hour walk.

Nope.  That hurt too. And I don’t mean lazy, “aw man, that hurts.” I mean sharp, owie, I quit Ironman training kind of pain.

After all that has happened,  I began thinking, “Well, now would be the time to quit.”  I have just been hurting for days.  And I’m tired. And I can’t train properly—can’t run, can’t bike—who can actually complete an Ironman just swimming?

This is ludicrous.

So I called the Emory ortho—Dr. Fletcher’s office—and they could see me at 1:30.  So I had Dr. Miracle Man Hands at 11:30, and then orthopedic doc at 1:30. I was armed and ready.  [I managed to eat a hamburger and fries in between.  Ack!!! Let’s not talk about how terrible my nutrition has been since this happened.  Let’s just say that ONE-derland has evaporated again.  Ah-hem. ]

I see my favorite Dr. MMH, and I immediately drop to the table and say, “My ass is broken.” (Okay, one more time.)

He laughs. “Let me check.”

He pokes around.

“Your ass is not broken. I am certain. You have jammed your SI Joint. And it’s inflamed. And it will hurt for a bit. But you are okay. Get your x-rays, and text me and tell me that I am right.”

He adjusts me. I couldn’t bend over without crying before I walked in.  I could bend over and only wimper when I left.

On to Dr. Fletcher.  I knew he would x-ray me.  And I would get hard core answers (and more x-ray pictures for my collection and insanely stupid motivational posters).

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X-rays? Nope.

“You are bruised.  You might have a broken tailbone, but there’s nothing we can do for that anyway.  We aren’t going to x-ray. Do what you can handle, workout-wise.  And in a week if you are in pain, we’ll shoot you up with a shot. You are okay.”

So I have no x-rays to show. I have no concrete anything.  I just have me.  A pain in my own ass. And a glimmer of Ironman Coeur d’Alene—that feels like it’s slipping like sand through my fingers.

Not to be dramatic.  But really…

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Today, I played in the yellow mushroom waterfall. Okay. I wanted to.

Then again… I have a friend who said, “You are getting all the crap over BEFORE race day. You’re going to shine on race day.”

Maybe. So we’ll just go with that story for now. Because I can expect to miss another 4-6 runs and bike workouts… and maybe more.

But what can I do?  As Coach Monster says, “It is what it is. Move on, let’s do what we can. You have an enormous base.  You can do this.”

For starters, I can put down this 2nd glass of wine and chocolate…well…maybe tomorrow.

For tonight, I am allowing myself to act as insane as I feel… maybe feel sorry for myself (poor me! Ironman! poor me!).. and tomorrow, I will pick up and move on and realize that there’s more to this life than Ironman. I will do my best, and that’s that.  That’s all any of us can do.

So for now… cheers. To my ass!  🙂

 

20 Comments

  • Julie Moscol

    May 8, 2013 at 8:15 pm

    I’m so sorry about your ass (see… its contagious), but had to tell you how fabulous you look in that dress! Hubba hubba… (How’s that for some vanity for you?)

    Reply
  • Jenny Abbott

    May 8, 2013 at 8:29 pm

    So sorry! I did something similar a couple of years ago and it hurts sooo bad. I thought the pain was right up there with childbirth. Prayers for a super speedy recovery.

    Reply
  • carie vercelli

    May 8, 2013 at 8:38 pm

    I swear, after everything you have been through physically, you have no choice to do this race even if you are crawling! It is crazy how everything is trying to ruin your efforts for this race! Tell it all to kiss your Ass!

    Reply
  • carie vercelli

    May 8, 2013 at 8:39 pm

    BTW, when I was 10 I broke my tailbone on my bike seat and it was so incredibly painful and I still have trouble with it if I sit long like in a movie. Why Do I tell you this? No reason I can think of. HaHa!

    Reply
  • Michel@Babyweightmyfatass

    May 8, 2013 at 8:45 pm

    Where do they put the shot? I know someone who actually did sorta of what she did but in child birth. A donut was her friend for a few weeks… I’ve had a shot in my foot with cortisone but the butt….I hope this is the end of it for you Meredith.

    Reply
  • Allie

    May 8, 2013 at 8:59 pm

    I have major tailbone issues. Years ago I came off a horse. I too went and had x-rays done and was told that I just bruised my tailbone. It never started to feel better and a year later I went to see another doc who did more x-rays. Turns out that I have a DISLOCATED tailbone. And that most docs don’t do an x-ray that will show this. So, my advice to you is that if you don’t think that it is starting to heal don’t wait like I did. My tailbone is now permanently dislocated as the muscles hold it out. My only option at this point is to either deal with it or have my tailbone removed. Again, if you feel that you aren’t feeling better in a normal amount of time insist on having it looked at closer to be sure that it isn’t dislocated. Good luck to you! I have been enjoying your blog as I train for my first tri.

    Reply
  • Maggie

    May 8, 2013 at 9:27 pm

    I’m so sorry about your setback. A tailbone injury is excruciating. Been there (childbirth injury and a hard fall a few weeks later). Time does (slowly!) heal. There is a lot outside your control right now, but you are brave, determined and inspiring us everyday with your journey and its twists and turns and your honesty. I’m glad you gave yourself permission to give your ass a break!

    Reply
  • Carrie Giordano

    May 8, 2013 at 10:17 pm

    Hugs and prayers! (No slaps to the ass). You’re doing this race like it or no. I’m to enveloped in your story for you to just pack up and quit. Sorry. But you’re in too deep 😛

    Reply
  • Mary Lou

    May 8, 2013 at 10:31 pm

    Just keep moving forward – tomorrow. Today, pamper, enjoy the break from discipline (not the ass break) and then move forward. I’ve learned to take the next indicated step which works pretty good. Hey – and even if one-derland temporarily disappeared, your ass arrived in wonderland looking great!.

    Reply
  • Lynne

    May 8, 2013 at 10:33 pm

    You have the inner strength to overcome all of the setbacks you have experienced. I have been following your facebook page and blog for a while now. I feel I identify so much with you. You embody everything it takes to be an athlete because you are one – never doubt that. You inspire me and encourage me (and I’m sure many others) everyday. And you WILL do this Ironman. Hang in there girl! And btw – you look awesome in that dress!

    Reply
  • Connie

    May 8, 2013 at 11:07 pm

    only swim bike mom could break her ass : )
    But think of this: you are doing what you are supposed to be doing. Satan sends the most challenges your way when you are in God’s will!!!

    Reply
  • Sam MacIntosh

    May 9, 2013 at 10:48 am

    Did the same thing snowboarding, and think I cried all the way down to my arse. (sorry, English people say it different – might it help you to say ARSE instead? I’m told we naturally sound more indignant?)

    I also f&$*ed my ankle playing rugby 4 weeks before my first marathon. I got round and I loved it because as The Expert says, you have an enormous base.

    Take care of that arse. Bonne chance. x

    Reply

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