I am counting down the dreaded seconds until Wednesday.
Wednesday is my planned trip to All3Sports, for the dreaded SwimBikeMom event: Try on Wetsuits 2011.
This morning, Coach Monster asked me again if I had a wetsuit. I told him that I had read the horrors of wetsuits for fat-bottomed girls in my Slow Fat Triathlete book, and I was scared. He told me to suck it up. I said I would buy my tub of Crisco on the way to All3Sports, and start slathering it on in the car.
“My, you are shiny,” the salesperson will say.
“Yes, and I look and smell like bacon too,” I will say.
He told me to suck it up and stop with the negative self-talk. Easy for zero-fat-bottom Ironman to say.
Ugh ugh ugh. Help me. This is the part of triathlon that feels a little cruel. Me, Crisco and neoprene? Yes, of course, I know I’m not supposed to actually use Crisco. And yes, I have my eighteen sticks of BodyGlide ready and waiting.
I thought about making Try on Wetsuits 2011 into a field trip. My co-workers think I’m a cartoon character anyway. Bring a whole bunch of them to laugh “with” me. Then I had a flash forward of random comments like, “Hey, Mere! Don’t get the one that says ORCA!” Even I have a little more self-preservation than subjecting myself to a lifetime of co-worker ridicule about me and my Orca wetsuit. Walking down the hall, “Ooooh, watch for the harpoon!” And on and on it would go. Nope, I’m braving this fiasco alone.
Anyway. As for today’s workout, this morning was spun (combo of spinning class followed by run). So, I had class plus a three mile run. Easiest three miles of my life. I really think I broke through some weird barrier on Saturday during 5K race in the rain. Now, if I can only survive Wetsuit Wednesday…
Happy Monday, ya’ll!