Yesterday my baby turned three. THREE. So…technically he is not a baby. He is still my baby, so I will likely continue to refer to him as “the baby.” I’m sad. I love being a mom. I have four kids, but if I had more money and didn’t have to work, I would probably have six. I love, love, love my family. We had a fun family birthday yesterday (ceremony at school, family dinner with grandparents, gifts, and lots of snuggle time), but I just felt sad about the fact that I no longer have any babies. I know he is my last child, so I will never have a two year old again. I had a headache all day yesterday, and I really think it was just a bit of the blues over my little man turning 3.
I feel like I’m really looking at the next “stage” of my life, and I realize that I am excited for some things to come. So, I was listening to NPR on the way home and there was a story about retirement (really about how people aren’t ready to retire). I started thinking about my retirement. I want to be a retired woman who does a lot of triathlons. I want to have my grown kids meeting me in cool places to do races. I want for my three year old to remember the times when he was little and watched mommy race…knowing he would someday do it too. I think I’m having a mid life crisis!
This week my husband and I signed up to volunteer at Ironman Florida 2013. This is my DREAM Ironman to do. Over the last six months I have thought a lot about whether I would make the step to Ironman, and I think I want to, but I want to do the right race. After reading and reading, I think Florida is the right race for me for a lot of reasons. (It’s beautiful. I can drive there. It is pretty flat. I love Florida. Etc., etc., etc.). The problem is that this race sells out in minutes online. So…if I volunteer in 2013, I have a much better chance of getting in it for 2014. I’m REALLY excited. REALLY. Even if I never do it, I can’t wait to volunteer…in the woman’s tent and as a catcher at the end.
So….I’m trying to change my brain. I’m trying to embrace being the mom of little kids, middle kids, a teen, and NO babies. I’m looking forward to steps in my triathlon journey. I’m thinking about next steps.
In the words of Maya Angelou, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change something, change your attitude.” I’m trying to do both.