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Curtains & Kitty Wigs

I think the Expert regrets telling me that I could blog about our little situation on Saturday.  (By the way, thank you all for the love and support for BOTH of us. I love that you guys are on “our” team.)

So anyway, the Expert is highly personal and quiet about things. Which I am sure causes internal disgruntlement in his soul – being married to someone like me, who will fan out my dirty laundry, spread it around the town and ask someone else to help me wash it, iron it, what kind of detergent I should use, and if it would be better off to dry clean… 

He never discourages my writing, though. Never.  I just think he wishes I’d write about kitty cats in wigs or something. I know several readers would like that too…. just saying.

http://kittywigs.com/blue.html

We have always been good for each other that way: I make him talk and discuss things; he sometimes succeeds in shutting me up.

I came across this article this morning: Seven Reasons to Stay Married. I didn’t forward it to the Expert.  I didn’t call my mom. Instead, I am posting a link to it. Because strangely, when something comes to me in the form of utter life confusion, I find it easier to open up a Word document, pound away on my keyboard, furiously like Schroeder on the piano, until something makes sense to me.

I think the article is amazing for many reasons. I was enthralled, and the article makes me really want to stay married. When I am in a stressful life situation, I need words to line up. I need to read words, write words to understand my context.  The Expert needs to analyze the entire abstract situation, no words required. Turns out the analysis of our marriage looks much more daunting than just the sheer words of it, which is why I think he came to his conclusion.

Yesterday morning,  the Expert went for a twenty mile bike ride around our house. I think he found some energy, some peace getting out on the bike and sweating. Triathlon healing? 

That afternoon, he hung curtains in our living room. I ironed eight curtain panels. He hung four rods. My foot was killing me from standing in front of the ironing board for two hours. His arms were sore from the work, the bike ride.  I think the curtains are a good sign for our marriage. Either that…or he wants to make sure I have a pretty house when I am all alone, spinster-like, eating tubs of peanut butter.

After the kids were asleep, the Expert and I sat around and looked at the curtains, which made an incredible change to our entire house.

“We will be okay, won’t we?” I asked him.

“I think we are,” he said. “We just have some crap to work out.”

“I think we just needed curtains,” I added.

He looked at me, thinking.  “Yes. Maybe.”

Of course, issues and problems cannot be boiled down to hanging up some curtains.  But sometimes, I think putting up something pretty… trying to see life through someone else’s eyes… certainly makes the room much more warm, friendly and inviting.

* * *

Only a few more days to pre-order your “Triathlon is a Mother” tech tees.  Due to demand, I am extending out through Thursday.  Then, I am going to take a reader’s advice and put up “Marriage is a Mother” tech tees next. No, not really. Well.. maybe.

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5 Comments

  • Stefanie Frank

    April 16, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    OMG this is so good! Sometimes the little things (curtains) can open the door to healing bigger things (marriage).

    As a reader who does feel like I know you guys (as has been said here before by others) I have no attachment to HOW this works out, just that it does. The best possible result for both of you and the kids. Holding that energy for you. Hugs.

    Reply
  • Anonymous

    April 16, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    You better NOT stop posting about this "stuff" i.e. your Life. Too many bloggers already post nothing but the good parts and glaze over the rest, boring!

    I wish the best for you both whatever happens. But I hope you stick together, my intuition/gut says don't DNF, and I don't even believe in marriage for the most part.

    If it were me, and I were you two, I'd try counseling, reading a couple of books that look good on the subject of marriage repair, get rid of the kids for the weekend sometimes, and uh, have lots of sex. What? It can't hurt!

    Good luck!

    Reply
  • ajh

    April 16, 2012 at 11:19 pm

    Good luck. I am like your husband and generally private. The blog is a stretch for me but even then I am careful about what I say so I get it. Good for him for letting you be you. My husband is more like you and sometimes I do say, "Talk about yourself but please don't share info about me."

    Reply
  • That Pink Girl

    April 17, 2012 at 2:21 am

    Curtains, good communication and a few kitty wigs never hurt a soul. Praying for y'all. No, I mean it, really praying for y'all.

    Reply
  • Kathryn

    April 18, 2012 at 4:26 pm

    I really wish you the best – I really hope you get through this 'crap' that you have to work out – and form your last post it sounds like there's a good chance – please don't either of you give up

    Reply

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