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Wednesday Wisdom: Diet Derailleurs

Beware the diet deraillieurs.  (Oh, you like the bike humor.)

Yes.  Diet busters lurk all over the place. But really, what is the biggest diet buster of all?

Here are the clues:

  • sweet, but not chocolate
  • pint sized, but not ice cream
  • delicious, but not edible

[Insert scary music here]

The biggest diet derailleurs are….


Their tiny little snack packs of cookies.  Teeny packs of crackers.  Baby cheeses.  Tiny ice creams.    The handful (after handful) of Goldfish crackers.  Grilled cheese sandwiches.

The children!  The diet killers!  Ah-ha! Okay, so I can’t blame them (totally).

But tonight, as I was swearing myself to a salad and one small, 3×4 inch, reasonable helping of Expert-made lasagna (my third favorite food in the universe), and I was feeling pretty proud (except for the cheese factor – but really, lasagna without cheese? Ah, no.), I realized I still had to clean up the kitchen.

Well, I didn’t see any cute crackers or sweet cookies lying around.

But I know what’s lurking. I swallow hard and look at the table.

[Insert scary music here]  

I see the cute little princess plate. And the Toy Story plate.  And the perfectly uneaten 2×2 helpings of lasagna.

All of the sudden I’m “cleaning” the plates en route to the kitchen sink.  Before I realize it, for dinner I have eaten…oh, I can’t do that math… but I think it’s something like 1400 square inches of pasta.

Bollocks! Teeny tiny plates of extra food.  Baby type tapas!  Ugh!

So my wisdom?  Can’t get rid of the kids.  So, I guess… shut my trap or feed the kids nothing but lettuce, and no more baby snack packs of cute little food.  I’m sure to win Mother of the Year with that one.

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