I have written many, many times about the importance of accepting ourselves as athletes, as runners, as triathletes.
I have written over and over about the importance of not downplaying our accomplishments–no matter how big or how seemingly small. To own the athletes we are. To work hard to get better... but be thankful right where we are, right in this moment, for all the amazing things that our bodies can accomplish.
I write and write. Blah blah blah.
And then I completely fail at following my own advice. At least internally. STILL.
I wanted to share an experience I had in the hot tub one time. (No. It’s not that kind of experience.)
So I had a 2,000 meter time trial in the pool. Went well, was feeling pretty triathlete-like with my sore body and goggle-eyes. I hopped out of the pool, and dipped into the hot tub adjacent to the pool.
I was alone for moment, before a super-fit guy hopped in. I nodded at him. And stuck my face back in my waterproof-cased phone.
But, he was very chatty. My poor inner introvert. So anyway, the guy sees that I am sitting in the hot tub with my phone.
“Wow, that’s risky,” he says, pointing to my phone.
“Oh, Lifeproof case. Waterproof,” I say, sticking my nose back in Instagram.
“Hey, are you a swimmer?” he asks.
And I freeze.
Oh no… not one of those questions.
Am I a swimmer? Am I a swimmer? Well, I just swam… so that makes me a swimmer…
And my Doubt Bitch (aka, Gladys) goes on, inside my head: I am a swimmer. But wait. Actually, I am more than just a swimmer. I am a triathlete. I do three sports! Three! Right, but I don’t look like it. Oh geez. I hate this question.
I may have taken entirely too long to answer.
“Oh well,” I started to say.
Then I seriously gulped, and said, “Actually, I am a triathlete. I do three things.”
(Instantly, I’m like, “Stupid! Who says, ‘I do three things!!'”)
Turns out, Chatty McHotTub was super nice, was a triathlete himself, did Louisville a few years ago, and we had a nice little chat and that was that.
As I was in the shower, it hit me.
I am STILL struggling with owning my athleticism. Still.
I actually gulped before I said, “I am a triathlete.”
I paused. I hesitated and I let myself feel shy, unworthy and embarrassed right there.
After all the stuff I write, all the races and training, and I still *gulp* and say stupid crap when people ask me about my training. I thought I had worked this out already.
“I do three things.”
Today, I am making it my purpose to “do three [other] things”!
1) Admit to myself that I am a triathlete (and an ATHLETE)
2) Say it out loud, and
3) Once and for all– mean it.
So here goes:
My name is Meredith. And I am a triathlete. And an athlete. And I mean it.
How about you? Are you owning your athleticism?
Are you still saying I “just” do _____, instead of I “do”?
Are you admitting you are an athlete yet?
If no… what is stopping you?