How does anyone change… like for real, change?
When the cost of staying the same is more painful then changing? That’s one way to look at it–and I think that’s a great way.
I know, for me, when I decided to become a triathlete, it was because the pain of not doing something powerful and weird and amazing was way more painful than actually trying to become this triathlete version of me.
Taking the steps to be a triathlete was incredibly hard and painful. (I was NOT always smiling.)
But taking those steps was also this:
– so different “for me”
I was seeking: change, fun, adventure and victory–(of some sort!)
When we couple the desire to change something with the “magic” of new/different/challenging/extraordinary, then it’s a great start to true and lasting change.
When I decided to give up drinking, it was because the cost and pain of continuing my life that way was far greater than giving it up. But I first needed to re-frame my thoughts and feelings around alcohol. Then I needed to take action.
Okay, great. Yeah yeah yeah…
BUT… how do we get there? How do we get out of the loop that keeps us going back to our destructive thoughts, actions and habits?
Where do we even begin?
It starts with our thoughts, then our feelings… then our actions—then results.
Somehow I knew that I was in this “loop” and I knew that something had to break me out of the loop.
- I started with writing down the “pros” and “cons” list of continuing to do exactly what I was doing–for the next decade.
- Next, from that list, I decided three things that “had to change” to break me out of this destructive loop.
- Finally, I began to implement some actions to solidify these decisions to change. I created a game plan that worked for me–getting rid of the toxic thoughts—and the toxic people!