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Sad Day.

My grandmother passed away this morning.  She was my father’s mom—Dad and I are very close. I hate to see my dad missing someone so much.  It’s a sad day.

I don’t handle death well… not  sure anyone does.  But funerals in particular are very, very hard for me to navigate. I am not brave when it comes to funerals.

Today, I also made the decision to withdraw from Ironman Louisville.

I crashed on my bike on Saturday, injuring my hip in some way or form. I had an MRI scheduled for this morning, but I cancelled. I didn’t see the point with the decision I had reached. The hip, coupled with the missing of key workouts lately and pain and uncertainty, I might could drag myself across a finish line in Louisville–but I just did that in July, and I was not looking forward to that again.

So… onward and upward.  Breathing in and out, and finding gratefulness and peace in whatever small spaces we can.  #justkeepmovingforward

39 Comments

  • stephanie

    September 3, 2015 at 1:30 pm

    so sorry to hear about your grandma. 🙁 I was so excited to see you at Louisville but I understand. Heal up and take care of yourself. ((hugs))

    Reply
  • Susan Stewart

    September 3, 2015 at 1:42 pm

    Sending you hugs, love and healing mojo. And sometimes all you need to do is ‘be there’ for those that you love… it’s enough. OX

    Reply
  • Kristin

    September 3, 2015 at 2:02 pm

    Meredith, realizing your own limits is part of the reason we all love you. So sorry for your loss and hopeful you feel better after the crash!

    Reply
  • Steffi

    September 3, 2015 at 2:14 pm

    So sorry to hear about your loss! I can feel you – I’m terrible at things like that, can’t see my dad be sad at all… And of course it’s hard to loose your grandmy anyways… 🙁 For my second tri on saturday, I was gonna write “just keep moving forward” on my arm to push myself, so I’m gonna have a little thought for you, your dad, your family when I look at it!

    Hugs
    Steffi

    Reply
  • Julie

    September 3, 2015 at 2:20 pm

    I’m so sorry about your loss of your grandmother. I know for me the hardest thing is comforting someone you love when they are in pain.

    I’m pretty sure Deciding not to do the upcoming Ironman was a difficult decision and this in itself is another form of grief. In the end it might be the best decision for you at this time.
    Hugs to you my friend.

    Reply
  • Courtney

    September 3, 2015 at 2:36 pm

    I’m very sorry to hear about your family’s loss. Thoughts and prayers for you❤️
    You also know your body best and made the right decision for you about IM LV. It’s a smart decision, difficult but smart. You will heal and come back strong as ever. {{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}

    Reply
  • Susie Yuill

    September 3, 2015 at 4:04 pm

    Sad to hear about the loss of your grandmother. Grandma’s are very special people. Also sorry that you are having a bit of a rough patch in your tri journey. Making the decision to withdraw from Louisville, although not easy, sounds like the right one for what you are feeling and dealing with right now. I give you lots of credit because so many times triathletes ignore what is actually best for us and muscle through it only to come out injured, burned out, or unhappy. Take care of yourself.

    Reply
  • Angie

    September 3, 2015 at 4:35 pm

    Oh Meredith, I am so sorry for your loss(es)! Losing loved ones is never easy and Gramma’s are such special people. And IMLOU!! I am just heartbroken for you. BUT, 2016 is a new year with new mountains to conquer! I have no doubt you’ll come roaring back better than ever! Love you lady!

    Reply
  • Cindy Smith

    September 3, 2015 at 4:42 pm

    Oh… I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother… So sad. My thoughts are with you and your family. And, IMLou… It’ll be there next year. Heal up and move forward. You have an army behind you; you got this.

    Reply
  • Lindsey

    September 3, 2015 at 5:35 pm

    My heart is aching for you. My grandmother passed away unexpectedly in February and even now I still reach for the phone to call her. We miss our loved ones terribly but they never really leave us, I truly believe that they check in to see how we’re doing. Sending love and strength to you all.

    Reply
  • Mo

    September 3, 2015 at 6:24 pm

    HUGs to you and your family! Take the time to heal your hip, your heart and good things will follow! Take the time to spend special moments with your family and look back at the great memories you all have of your grandmother! Love to you all!

    Reply
  • Cheryl

    September 3, 2015 at 6:48 pm

    Meredith

    In time, your tears will be smiles when you and your Dad remember your Grandma. As for IMLOU, I am a true believer that both mind and body must be in sync to take on the IM. Take this time to recover both mentally and physically, you owe it to yourself. If you can do that, you will come back with a a renewed love of the sport.

    Take care of yourself and your family. May the the wind be at your back and the sun always on your face!

    CanukTriMom

    Reply
  • Victoria Grammar

    September 3, 2015 at 7:08 pm

    My condolences to you and your family. Rest, my friend. Sometimes the toughest part is knowing when to step back. You are an inspiration to many and a good role model to show others it is OK to know your limits. I hope your body heals quickly and your heart and soul as well.

    Reply
  • christina

    September 3, 2015 at 7:45 pm

    Im very sorry for your loss. I work in an intensive care unit – I deal with deal way too much… but it never gets easier. Expecially when its someone you care so much about.

    Reply
  • cherylann

    September 3, 2015 at 8:23 pm

    So sorry to hear about you grandmother’s passing- and there will always be another IM race. Hard decision…but the right one for now.

    Reply
  • Bryn

    September 3, 2015 at 10:35 pm

    So sorry to hear about your gramma…losing a grandparent is often a time of mixed emotions – sadness at their parting but joy for a life well lived. Hope you are able to just sit & be with the emotions for awhile. And with the emotions from pulling out of Iron man…it sounds like you are making a tough choice but one that honors what your body needs right now. Kudos to you for listening to that inner voice.

    Reply
  • Lindsay

    September 4, 2015 at 11:50 am

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family <3

    I'm sorry to hear about Louisville as well, but heal up, rest up, and be ready to go for IMLP2016. There are always other Ironmans.

    Reply
  • Kristin

    September 5, 2015 at 8:05 am

    Am so sorry for your family’s loss, allow this to be a time to celebrate her life and the legacy she has left behind.

    Hard decision on Louisville …. ?

    Reply
  • Nancy

    September 5, 2015 at 6:25 pm

    So you had an injury that was serious enough to make you cancel a commitment like Ironman, but it wasn’t serious enough to get it scoped? This thing called triathlon, that you invoke as being the thing that keeps you sane and gets your through the tough times…sometimes just moving forward means slogging through the crap.

    Just a suggestion. Find a race and race it for you. It’ll get your mind right.

    God bless you and yours.

    Reply
    • SBM supporter

      September 7, 2015 at 4:33 pm

      Nancy, get your head scoped. She just lost a family member and is super injured. If anyone knows about commitment and completing an Ironman it’s Meredith. Her mind is just right yours on the other hand has me worried.

      Reply
  • Alli

    September 5, 2015 at 7:30 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear about your loss Meredith!! I know how you must be feeling, my grandad passed away on Tuesday and it’s been a hard few days. We are going to celebrate his life – and what amazing life it was- and I am sure you will do the same for your grandmother. I hope your hip is healing well and cancelling your IM is not weighing on you too much. Sounds like you made the right decision even though it’s been a tough on. Keep moving forward and be sure that we will all be thinking of you! Big hug and lots of love, Alli xx

    Reply
  • Lesley

    September 6, 2015 at 9:01 pm

    Moving forward is ALWAYS about making the decisions you think are best. Don’t doubt yourself. That is the true message of moving forward. You can’t move ahead if you don’t believe in yourself and have confidence that you know what is right. My sympathy to your family.

    Reply
  • Kerry

    September 7, 2015 at 4:59 am

    I am so sorry for your loss Meredith. I know Louisville was a difficult decision but take comfort in the fact that it was the right decision for you at this time. Love and prayers for you and your family at this sad time.

    Reply
  • Amanda Remlinger

    September 10, 2015 at 7:55 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss of your grandma. I’ll be thinking good thoughts for you. Also sorry for the loss of IM Lou but you deserve a little break right now. Heal your heart and your mind and come in strong for ’16 at O’side! Hope the hip is feeling better and you get a little relief.

    Reply

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