So this weekend, the Expert and I demolitioned tons of furniture and filled two dumpsters with trash. We have a garage that is packed and ready for the movers. The inside of the house is another story. Looks like there has been an explosion.
We close on the new house a week from today, and move on Friday.
I found all sorts of amazing treasures in the garage, by the way.
A trumpet.
Old weightlifting medals.
A Furby.
Despite all the treasures unearthed and progress in packing… mentally, I am not in a great place.
Good things are happening, but the weight of what-must-be-done is huge. Once we move, we will be commuting the kids 25 miles to their current school and then commuting ourselves in to work. It’s only two months to do that charade, but still. Just lots going on. Wire transfers. Closing. Duct cleaning. Painting. Moving. Packing. Unpacking. Oh, and Florida 70.3 the week after. Uggggh. List after list. And I did it to myself. Not like anyone made me. That’s the worst part (ha!).
I was in Beast Mode last week—nutrition was good, workouts were getting blasted—and then the reality of moving (again) hit me. (For those of you new to the Swim Bike Shenanigans… this marks Move #3 in just over a year).
I missed Saturday’s workout. And yesterday’s also.
Yesterday was a real gem, though.
The Expert and I went out to ride, and it started pouring rain. We were both underdressed and it was cold, and we decided that we just weren’t in the mood for a 3.5 hour ride in the rain and cold. I think my quote was, “I don’t have to do this. I am not training for an Ironman anymore.” (Uhhhhh, but you are training for a half Ironman, you dufus.)
Anyway, we opted for a movie instead, vowing to ride the trainer in the afternoon. Once back home after movie, we dressed for the trainer ride, and settled in. I rode about 30 minutes before I decided I needed to change out my saddle. So I did that. And then I messed something up and couldn’t get it straight. I put on another saddle. Really botched that one. So the Expert helped me.
All the while, the boxes and things that need to be packed were closing in on me.
And I threw a temper tantrum. It wasn’t quite the cupcake temper tantrum of 2013, but it was close.
See, when I am feeling overwhelmed… and scared, I don’t really retreat, so much as I get mad. I rarely throw fits because I am actually mad. I throw fits when I am threatened, cornered, animal-like, scared. And then I retreat. Sweet Red calls it my “cave”. She’ll ask me, “Are you in your cave?”
Today, I am in my cave. So, I totally sucked this weekend. But sometimes, that’s okay. Sometimes life gets in the way of workouts.
I’m not sure if I made excuses for not doing the training— or if my mind just said, “dammit, I can’t handle this right now,” and I went into my cave as a defense mechanism. Either way, sometimes it’s just okay to be this way.
Sometimes the body and mind need a break, need to shut down and crawl into a cave for a bit. (With the kiddos).
So, I may be in my cave today. But hopefully, the beast will “suck it up, buttercup” and emerge tomorrow.
Girl…I’ve been in a cave for 6 months. LOL! Do you need help packing? Your at least 20 miles closer to me know.
Seriously – I will drive the 4 hours to Atlanta to help – moving is one of THE most stressful things EVER!!!!! Caves are OK – we all go there when we need to. You have a lot on your plate – take time for you!! Because, you rock.
Move is a four letter word! You’ve got great drive, you know how to Ironman and a half. Hang out in your cave as long as needed and emerge with a cave woman strut and kick some A. You’re great! Believe in yourself! We’re behind you!
I’m so glad other adults have hysterical temper tantrums:) Hang in there!
Caves can be fun to visit but the sunshinr is where the real fun is.
I’m so with you! Preparing house in Iowa to sell for move to Atlanta. Have only been there once and it was for 24 hours. Starting new job. Dad having health issues and he lives in another state. 70.3 in a couple weeks (first one). Bike shipping – packing for Tri – packing up house – painting – changing ugly brass fixtures so someone will buy my house – OH MY GAWD!!!! I so feel for you!!!!! I personally had a major cry baby – feel sorry for myself – life is way too hard – being a grown up sucks – session on Sunday.
After all the tears and snot I feel somewhat better though! You will too 🙂 Soon you will be on “the other side” of this move! and I will too!
Sounds like we should meet up for drinks to celebrate after this is done !
I just found your blog a few weeks ago and I love it! It usually starts out like this: I get interested into something, then I start it (triathlon training), then I wonder if any mom’s are also doing it and I look it up on the web. There you are! I have to say first and foremost that what you are doing is quite commendable on so many levels! You are not only an inspiration to your own family, but to countless women and men out there trying this hellacious thing called a triathlon! The best part of your blog is your honest and straight forwardness! If I want to know what I am getting into I really want to hear all sides of the coin so there are no surprises. Your posts don’t hold back and I can sincerely see myself in 99% of your situations. I am a married mother of twin 18yr olds in additon to working full time as a RN in the NICU. I was actually directed towards the idea completing a triathlon by my son. When he talked about it I said why not! We have already completed our very first 5K as a family and we loved it. In the past few weeks we have been working on a plan to excercise and improve ourselves prior to picking out our first sprint triathlon. We are already signed up to volunteer for one to see first hand what it is all about. We have spent countless hours getting the right gear and it has been the best investment of my life. I look forward to triathlon training as a way of life. I am inspired when I read about older women getting started in triathlons and keeping up with it throughout the rest of their life. What a way to be an ambassador for excellent health and all of the preventative benefits that it brings for a healthy life. I love that our own children can inspire us to make those decisions to face obstacles head on! So thank you for your website and your blog. YOu ARE AN INSPIRATION! Best of luck to you on your Florida Ironman!