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Swim Bike Battle Royale 5k

So I guess it’s no mystery that the Expert and I are competitive  …with each other.

This morning, the Expert got on the scale – and he has gained NO weight since our round of Whole30 in August/September.  Me?  Oh, I have gained about 16 pounds.  (Seriously).

As I am now Day Two on another round of Whole30, I immediately said to myself, “I’m going to crush him this time.”


What in the….  #socompetitive

And we have a long history of this.

Take, for example, the only 5k that he and I have run together involved him muttering, “I hate you” several times during the run. During our early Olympic-style weightlifting days, don’t even get me started on his smarty pants-ness.

I mean look at the Anniversary card he gave me last year:


Anyway, Mountain Goat mentioned this Superheroes v. Villains 5k race coming up this weekend, and I thought, “hey, that will be fun with the kids!”  You can dress up and wear capes and run. What’s not to like?  

Oh, and they have childcare during the 5k so you can run, then run the fun-run with the kiddos.  How awesome is that? 


Plus, I’m enjoying some 5ks right about now.

Well, then the Expert signed up.  Also, fun… right?


And just like that? …We have a competition.


Saturday is also our twelve year anniversary.  A very serendipitous little factoid for the Swim Bike Battle Royale 5k (which is what we have re-named the event). So.  The Expert and I are putting on our capes and we are RACING against each other on Saturday.

I am searching for my sub-30 5k.  Not sure if it’s even possible at this point.  He’s searching for nothing more than to beat me.

This could be fun, except the Expert “knows everything,” and therefore, he’s also a mighty trash-talker.  Which drives me insane.


I went to bed early last night because I am fighting a headcold (just like every time I start eating clean)… and I was hoping he’d just stay downstairs and watch some “Walking Dead” or something.

Instead, dude follows me upstairs, heckling me about the race.

“So my plan is to run the first mile at 11 minute pace, then the next at a 10 minute pace, and then balls out for the last mile at an 8 minute pace.”

“You’re an idiot,” I said.

“What? It’s brilliant.”  (Of course it is, it’s from the Expert. And I can admit it’s a pretty good strategy.)


“Whatever. Do whatever you want.  Just know that when I take off, I am leaving you in my dust. It will take a real man to show that kind of restraint as I blow by you,” I heckled back.

So we have two strategies:

The Swim Bike Mom Strategy

Race at a decent, “fast for me” pace right out of gate (10:00 pace). But one that is sustainable. Then kick it into a slightly higher gear (9:00) for the last mile, which should squeak me in right under 30 minutes.


The Expert Strategy

As stated above, run the first mile at an 11:00 pace, then the next at a 10:00 pace, and thus, catching and blowing by me in the nick of time with his sub-8:00 pace, and screaming “nanny nanny boo boo” or “take that, beeeeeotch!”


Now, a very important caveat to the Expert:  he is willing to go into the medical tent anytime.  I am not.

I tried to tell him that I’m not sure the 5k will have a medical tent AND that we still must run with our kids in the fun run afterwards (boys vs. girls!), so he better behave.

…to be continued….



  • Courtney

    October 16, 2013 at 7:54 pm

    Hahahaha, have fun! My money’s on you Swim Bike Mom!

    My husband and I run races together and actually stick together. However, we have a half marathon on Sunday and we both have a different injury right now, so we’ve decided we may split up if one of us feels the need to drop back, so we’ll see. Every race we’ve both run we’ve run together, including his first triathlon.

  • Julie

    October 16, 2013 at 8:46 pm

    We have an annual 10k in our town every October. My husband, who doesn’t run, (EVER), inevitably signs up and ends up beating me. No matter what. I don’t care if I just ran my fastest 10k and he has malaria… whatever, he ALWAYS beats me. Sure, he wants to throw up the rest of the day, but still. It bugs the living be-jeezus out of me. Ho hum. At least you’re nice competitive. I just want him to trip or throw up somewhere along the course. (Bad wife. BAD wife.)

  • KarenO

    October 17, 2013 at 7:08 am

    There may be some advantages to being the only swimmer/biker/runner in the house. I don’t have company while training or racing, but that’s a trade off I’ll take.

  • Laura Chevalier

    October 17, 2013 at 10:34 am

    Well I don’t have to worry about it. My husband always has and always will be faster than me. Actually, I did beat him at a race one time: a mt bike race that took place one week after his first marathon. And 4 years ago, my now 13 yr old beat me at a 5K. This year he beat his dad at a 5K. I can however, still beat my youngest son who is 9 yr at a 5k. And I can out last either of them!

  • Ashley

    October 17, 2013 at 9:04 pm

    SBM—I KNOW you’re going to beat him! What’s better is that you guys actually can run races together. My hubby says I’m too slow for him (the pro athlete that he is), and maybe it’s because my legs are ten times shorter than his. Hah.

    LOVE the cute shirts and capes. Can’t wait to hear a race recap. 🙂 have fun!!!!!

  • Sher Franklin

    October 17, 2013 at 9:27 pm

    Love this <3! And REALLY love the Wonder Woman/girl/Super Woman/girl & Man/Boy T~shirts that you guys are wearing! I've got my money on you Meredith!!! You go kick some booty on this race! Wish that I were not working, because I'd be there with you guys, and bring my little guy Matt with me! He is WAY~WAY faster than I… & that's a GOOD thing! 😉 Have a great time! 😀


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