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Big Girl Decisions are HARD

Hi folks. Virginia here…..

In a few old posts I have talked about my dilemma over what “BIG” race to do next year. Even while writing about it, I knew what I wanted…..what my goal was…..where I THOUGHT I was going….IRONMAN FLORIDA.

frownWell, I am feeling pretty bummed today. I made the decision this weekend NOT to go to Florida to volunteer for Ironman Florida in 2 weeks. This has been on my “plan” for about a year….with the goal of signing up for Ironman Florida 2014. Alas, I can’t do it. I just can’t afford it. My husband and I kept saying we would “make it work,” but I’m not actually sure how we thought we would do that. So, in the effort to be responsible, I am not going to do it.

I feel like a giant baby. I have cried over this several times. Today I still feel like someone punched me in the gut. My morning run totally SUCKED today, and I know that it is just because I am really bummed about this. I am trying SO HARD to get over this. I KNOW it is the right choice. I cannot afford to make stupid financial decisions just because I WANT something, but it is so hard to let go of a dream. I am also feeling really bitter. My husband and I both work hard at our jobs….but we never get ahead. We chose to be teachers, so I guess I should have known that it would be this way, but it just seems unfair.  I keep forcing myself to think about people with REAL problems so that I can get over this resentment and frustration, but it isn’t helping much right now. I know this is a stupid and shallow frustration. I know I have a great life. I know I am lucky. I KNOW IT. BUT…..right now, I am upset. (So please…no lectures about what really matters. I promise, I know what really matters.)

bbSO……..My NEW hope is that I can sign up to do the Beach to Battleship Full next year. It has great reviews and is about $260 LESS than Ironman, so it is a more realistic dream. I really hate that I will have to spend the year saying I am training for an “Iron DISTANCE race” instead of an Ironman. I hate that Mike Riley will not say my name. I hope that by the time that the sign up rolls around, I will feel more excited about this decision.  I am sure I will.

These are the days that I have to repeat Meredith’s advice and JUST KEEP MOVING FORWARD. I am going to work hard to get happy and move forward. My triathlon goals are not about a label, but about my fitness and happiness. Today I just have to convince myself of that. I want to wallow in the SUCKAGE of this situation for a minute, but I will soon stop and move on to happiness and determination….probably.

18 Comments

  • TenaciousJ

    October 21, 2013 at 11:30 am

    Perfectly normal. You need to grieve about it. Grieve the loss of a path you’ve thought about for a long time. You will eventually feel better, but no need to rush it. When you’re ready, you’ll move forward on your new path. (((hugs)))

    Reply
  • Jillian O'Malley

    October 21, 2013 at 3:15 pm

    I am not doing Ironman Florida for the same exact reason. Just can’t give up that kind of $$ in November with small kids and Christmas around the corner. So, for the 3rd time and for the same reason (also the third time for this reason) I will be doing Ironman Louisville for the 3rd time since it doesn’t sell out right away and I can actually save up for it after the holidays are over. Its an awesome race, you should consider it

    Reply
    • Virginia Tate

      October 21, 2013 at 5:24 pm

      Jillian,

      I hadn’t considered Louisville for two reasons. First, it is supposed to be one of the SUPER challenging ones and I thought I’d START easier (as easy as IM can be). Second, it is always RIGHT at the start of school. This year it was in our first week. It is tough to miss a day or two at that time. BUT….you are making me think….maybe….

      Reply
  • Anna Stedman

    October 21, 2013 at 3:36 pm

    Virginia, I am going thru some similar things, although not about IRONMAN , but other things in my life. My training has been slowed down because 4 of my 5 children have Whooping Cough. It is nasty and Horrible coughing, and takes about 3-4 months to get well. So some of my “dream” stuff is on the back burner and that is ok. I get a little bummed but I know my first priority is to take care of my family…..I am still running and biking as much as I can . Keep on moving Forward like you said….=-) Anna

    Reply
      • Anna Stedman

        October 21, 2013 at 9:31 pm

        well my kids are not little, the sick ones are 11, 12, 16, and 22 !!! The one who is not sick is 15 on Wednesday Oct 23. So when they are well, they are all well into THEIR things…the last few years as they are getting older I have been able to do Triathlon more and my husband is supportive….thanks !!Anna

        Reply
  • Karen

    October 21, 2013 at 6:36 pm

    I may be a little partial as B2B is my favorite race but I totally understand. It is a different experience than the Ironman brand. I have done it twice now and really love the smaller feel of the race (I mean there are still 2000 racers between the half and the full so it isn’t too small…). Not going to lie, it feels weird having to self correct yourself every time you want to say “ironman” as opposed to “iron distance” (darn those snobs who make us feel like we have to say it correctly). The distance is the distance whether you did it in Florida, Louisville or Wilmington. B2B was my first and having done Louisville this year, I can say it is still my favorite – ironman brand or not. The money that goes into the race is no joke. Don’t feel like you are settling to do B2B. It is still a great race. … and maybe next year, after B2B, you can head down to Florida and sign up for IM FL if that “ironman” itch is still there.

    Reply
  • Jessica Russell

    October 22, 2013 at 12:00 am

    There was a great article by Chris McCormack in a recent issue of Triathlete about how so many age groupers now put so much value on Ironman races, as if other races aren’t valid. That’s like saying you only ran a marathon if you ran Boston. That sure isn’t true. It was a great article and really put it in perspective for me. Macca was saying that pros do not think that way. Some of the most amazing triathlons in the world are not Ironman branded races, and winning one of those races for a pro is just as much of an accomplishment as winning an Ironman. Same goes for racing a non Ironman race. Good luck with whatever race you do!

    Reply
  • Erin

    October 22, 2013 at 7:57 am

    My hubby is doing B2B as his first FULL IRON DISTANCE race this weekend and I can’t wait to cheer him on. It has been a struggle for him, too, but he has realized that 140.6 is 140.6 regardless of the race name. Setup is a great company and puts on a fantastic race, so he is super excited now. My thought process right now is a full in 2015, but as the weekend draws closer, I am considering B2B next year, too. Best wishes for happy, safe training and maybe I’ll see ya out there!! Why don’t you come warm up at Raleigh 70.3 in June with Heidi and me?! 🙂

    Reply
    • Virginia Tate

      October 22, 2013 at 8:16 am

      Great to know this! I considered Raleigh, but I am going to opt for a cheaper (non-Ironman) half in April in Charleston, SC. I will do Augusta (most likely) again, so it will be my “big spend” race.

      Reply
  • Erin

    October 22, 2013 at 7:57 am

    My hubby is doing B2B as his first FULL IRON DISTANCE race this weekend and I can’t wait to cheer him on. It has been a struggle for him, too, but he has realized that 140.6 is 140.6 regardless of the race name. Setup is a great company and puts on a fantastic race, so he is super excited now. My thought process right now is a full in 2015, but as the weekend draws closer, I am considering B2B next year, too. Best wishes for happy, safe training and maybe I’ll see ya out there!! Why don’t you come warm up at Raleigh 70.3 in June with Heidi and me?! 🙂

    Reply
  • Nancy

    October 22, 2013 at 10:01 am

    I have to admit, I waited until this morning to throw in my 2 cents even though I read your blog last night. Since May I have been training for my second Beach2Battleship half. Never once have I considered calling my training “half iron DISTANCE” versus “half IRONMAN”. I have worked my a** off to get to this point and even though it’s not an IRONMAN branded event, I’m okay with that. As Erin and Jessica have mentioned, what matters is the miles that you do, not the name. I must admit it kind of stung to hear you mention the B2B as a “B” race, especially considering your timing (the race is Saturday). Beach2Battleship has been ranked one of the top 5 Iron Distance events in the world. It’s not a “B” race.

    I understand the needs and wants of not having enough money- I truly do. Like you, I’m toying with the Charleston half but not sure if I can swing it financially. And I understand where you’re coming from, I really do, but please don’t devalue other races because they’re not IRONMAN.

    Reply
    • Virginia Tate

      October 22, 2013 at 10:07 am

      I don’t think I called it a B race. The purpose of my post was to speak honestly about my emotions. I KNOW that 140 is 140. I know that they are equally valuable. I, like many people, have had my heart set on one race, and now I realize that won’t happen. I have read WONDERFUL things about B2B, and I know it will be a great race. I think I can mourn the fact that I am not going to get to do what I thought while still appreciating what I will have. I did not mean, in any way, to devalue your race. I honestly don’t think I did. I think I just expressed my feelings. Good luck with B2B. I know it will be great and I could never demean the tremendous work you have put into training. I am sorry if you took offense to my post.

      Reply
  • Wornout Soles

    October 23, 2013 at 3:17 pm

    I am looking to do my first 140.6 next year, and have been agonizing over which race to do. Like you, I had put stock in an Iron-branded race for the simple fact that I can say “Ironman”, not “Iron-distance”. After looking at all the race options, I realized the best race for me and my family would be Rev 3 Cedar Point. At first, I was bummed about the thought of having to say I am training for an Iron-distance. But after a thought about it a little more, I realized that no matter what it is called, I am doing 140.6. I am still referring to the race as an Ironman, especially to my non-tri friends because they understand the term, and in casual conversation it’s easier than explaining the WTC copyright on the word Ironman.

    Good luck with your training! No matter what brand of a race you do, you are putting in the same amount of effort and sacrifice to cross that finish line.

    Reply
    • Scott

      October 23, 2013 at 4:12 pm

      LOL..I was just lamenting the fact today that I chose to sign up for an Ironman branded race. They only reason was that IM Boulder is in my back yard. Found out today that it will be the “Largest” Ironman in the world. Heck IMMOO was big..almost too big. I love the Rev 3 races. The people and race are extraordinary. Cedar Point should be a blast And B2B is another on my list to do if I can ever afford the travel.

      Reply

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