Today, I seriously thought about skipping Ironman Coeur d’Alene.

IMG_0717
Not quitting (ah-hem—-because “I’m no quitter!”)… just skipping.  You know… forgetting to show up for it.  Or being really late.  So that I miss the swim start.

I was driving the Swim Bike Kid #2 to the doctor today (another thing going on, sick kid)… and I had this thought:   We can all  fly out to CDA, do Athlete Check-In on Friday, then Saturday check in my bike…. and then, on Saturday night, I could roofie my whole family (so they don’t wake up on time), and then I could “oops, I overslept!” and then that’s that.

For about 5 minutes, that “plan” became MY actual plan.  (Nevermind the idea of roofie-ing kids… what in the—-).

Oversleeping. For my Ironman. My plan. Un-freaking-real. 

I doggie paddled in the pool. I went to spin class this AM.   I did not like any of it.  

Could be… because I am in pain.  Could be because I have a poor attitude, I’m not sleeping, I’m aggravated in general…

My broken ass is killing me to sit on a bike seat, to bend over, and to sit (nevermind the Century ride I have planned on Sunday)… my bad hip hurts to even walk (let’s not talk about running)… and I’m pretty sure that my nutritional fails this week have pushed me back up to from 198 to—-about—-oh—-245 pounds.

Ironman.  Ha.

IMG_0564
At least I won’t slip on my cleats anymore…

After spinning class, I tried to sneak past Coach Monster (who could read my bad attitude from a mile away).  He caught me as I was leaving the building.  He told me to get my head straight.  To get it straight now—because now is what matters.  The he grabbed my face and shook me.  Which kind of jiggled some sense into me.

Lord knows I am trying.  (Or am I?)

I want this finish.  (Or do I? Am I setting myself up for a giant [expensive] act of self-sabotage?)

I can do this race. (Or can I? I mean really…)

Ughhhhh. Everyone said Ironman would be completely insane. “The training,” everyone said, “That’s the tip of the crazy iceberg.”

IMG_0628
Don’t let the cheerful exterior fool you. I’m full of incredible amounts of grump inside.

Yes.  And maybe the iceberg analogy isn’t the best right now—-since I have a rear end the size of Titanic and Lake Couer d’Alene is pretty darn cold…

So I focus on the process. I trust my Coach. And I pray (a lot).  For now, that’s my story. It will be okay.

theend

Have a great weekend friends.

18 Responses

  1. I’ve thought about oversleeping on race morning too… you aren’t alone! 🙂 But, you got this, so that thought doesn’t even matter!

  2. Do you think it would help to give your ass a few days off the saddle? I’ve taken some hard falls and I know that sitting, let alone on a bike seat, was miserable and I tried to do it as little as possible. Ironman is insane. Wrenches get thrown into everyone’s plans that make it that much more insane. But you say “f you” and move on and race the race that you are capable of that day. It might not be what you planned or hoped for but it will happen. It will hurt more now than maybe it would have before but it’s a hurt you’ll cherish after the race because it will remind you of what a bad ass you are. The last month or so before my race were some bad times for me. But I had to just stick it out and make it through. You will too. Keep on keepin on!

  3. I wanted to skip this weekend too. Not physically ready and my head is not in the game at all. But I decided I have to #keepmovingforward and not doing the race would be a step backwards. Just like not doing IMCDA would feel like for you. BTW, I love those Look Keos– just be aware the ones with the rubber (can’t tell in the packaging)– the rubber rips off eventually. 🙁 You got this!

  4. When my bad attitude starts to show itself, I simply remember that I GET to do this!!! I GET to put myself through this miserable training and I GET to race. So many cannot.

    My friend turned 30 in November. She celebrated her 1st wedding anniversary in November. And she learned she had leukemia in November. All in the same week.

    Our circumstances are cake. You GET to do this and you WILL get that finish!

  5. For real? For real! Everyone I know who had done an ironman has done more than one. Probably ironman is more addictive than little ole sprint tris. You’ll do this, and you’ll love it and probably do one again. Your butt and hip will heal, and you’ll want to beat your time. Who cares if you never run fast due to your hip. It’s not about running fast. Get some sleep and enjoy!!!

  6. Get your head in the game. ONE workout at a time. You just have to do THIS ONE. Then the next and the next. What if the one workout you miss is the one that counts? If you’re seriously hurt, consider skipping. If you can do this.. remember they will say ” YOU ARE AN IRONMAN” You can do this.

  7. If you need help focusing, go back and read your 10 day dedication posts. Seriously.

    Training is the hard part. The race is a celebration. Put your head down for the next 4 weeks and get it done.

  8. I want to say something inspirational, but all I can think is, “My own big (boyant) rear helps me ‘skim’ over the top of the water when I swim, and pads my falls.”

  9. Ditto. D.I.T.T.O. I think I’ve fed my family pizza 3 times this week avoiding everything that requires work! I believe YOU can do it, you are crazy and all. 🙂 my run is two laps around the lake. I bet nobody would know I didn’t loop twice. Sigh… Happy Friday!!!

  10. When I was training for Ironman I had the same thoughts. However then I thought – I didn’t come this far to get to the starting line and “skip”. It is like paying student loans on a degree you didn’t get. 2 things I kept telling myself – race day is far easier then any training day (you could walk the marathon and be fine) and trust in your training. Your body will be ready. It’s 80% mental so keep your head in the game. I promise you this it is all worth it in the end! And when you sport that Ironman tee shirt you will be a ROCKSTAR !

  11. You’re a machine! How you keep juggling the Swim Bike Fam with all the IM training is amazing to me! We all believe in you! You are going to do great! Keep Moving Forward! You’ve got this!

  12. Don’t you worry! I think everyone approaches burn out at this point and it’s ok. A few more weeks thenyou can really enjoy your taper. I honestly think that was the best psrt of the season because I knew I could do it! Keep it up you are almost there!

  13. A slight attitude shift does wonders for me when I am deep in the grind of anything (training, work, kids, etc)-shift from “I HAVE to run 6 miles today” to “I GET to run 6 miles today” and find the place in yourself that is grateful that your body and your mind allows you to do it. Good luck, you are going to kill it.

  14. Meredith, You are amazing!!!! My dream is to do an Ironman; and you are making me believe it is possible. You inspire so many. We know you can do this!!!! You go girl!!!!!

Leave a Reply to Erin

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *