With only 30 days left until Ironman Coeur d’Alene, I am dedicating each ten day block of training to important  people in my life. I have written dedications to my Dad, my Mom, Coach Monster, Grandparents, YOU, my SBM friends, Yoda, Sweet Red and Mountain Goat, and Dr. MMH, Ilana Katz and McBlessings. After this one, there are only TWO dedications left…. gulp!

This one is for my daughter, Stella.  The second Swim Bike Kid.  My baby girl.

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Dear Stella,

When you came into this world, I was blown away by how wonderful it was (is) to have a daughter—another girl in the family. Sometimes, I feel that you and I are totally against those “stinky two boys” in our house; othertimes, I know that I have absolutely lost you to your daddy’s team—because you are, through and through, a daddy’s girl. But that’s okay, because the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

I dedicate, not just the next 10 days of training to you—-because this whole race is more than just training, more than just an M-dot tattoo or shirt or whatever—-this is a milestone that means so much to me…but not just for me—this is a milestone that no one can ever take away from me—–or you.

Here’s what I mean.

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There will come a time in your life when someone will make you feel like crap.

Someone. Some boy. Some nasty little snotty girl whose parents have more money than God.  Maybe even your brother or me or your dad—unintentionally, of course—but it’s possible (and likely) that, at some point, the words or actions of others will dig in to your soul…and make you feel worthless.

At the end of the day, you will have those two precious brown eyes staring back at you in the mirror.  You have yourself. You have your beliefs, your strength and your attitude.

#whatmatters ❤

Triathlon and Ironman is just a grown-up way of surviving the grown-up game that feels like high school.  We, triathletes in training, are all out there digging down, pushing hard to make ourselves believe what others don’t—-what we sometimes don’t believe about ourselves.  But we try to be better. We try to show ourselves that we are better.

That we are worth it.  That we can.

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Through this Ironman FINISH (!), I want you to know that yes, I have sacrificed to do it… but that you and your brother and your daddy have too.  I have missed out on several family outings, meals and events.  But when the times get dark, and I think I can’t go on… I see that I am a better example for you, a better mother and a better friend. Because I tri.

Through this finish, I want you to see that you can be strong and brave and fierce and (sorta) fast.  You can be all these things if you want to be.  No matter what others say about you.

You can.

And I am going to finish this race, so someday, when someone makes you feel like crap… I can tell you the story of how your fat, lazy, good-for-nothin’ momma did something really awesome. That one night (and it will be night), back in June of 2013, I did something really impossible and amazing and hard.  It was a fiesta!

(No. Not going to Mexican and refraining from cheese dip. Harder than that! If you can imagine!)

And when I tell you the tale, and you look at me, like, “What? YOU did THAT?”

I can nod and say, “See?  You can be whatever you dream.  I am proof.” Love. So much.

And then I can tell you… that just because you may not look the part—-or be perfect at playing the part—- you can still participate in the play of life. You can move forward. And you can be who you want.

Over the next ten days of training, I will carry your sweet little smile in my heart.  And on the race course, when I think it hurts too much—I am going to remember the story that I want to someday tell you.

And in order to tell you the story, I have to finish.

And to get to the finish, I must just keep moving forward.

Fashion first. Always.

And I will. Move forward. For you, my baby girl.

Love,
Mom

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23 Responses

  1. Ummm… Fat, lazy, good-for-nothin momma????? All those words do not describe the woman I have come to admire! Maybe determined, strong, funny and maybe a little crazy might be more like it!

  2. If this lawyer thing doesn’t work out you definitely need to go into inspirational writing. I was tearing up the entire time!

  3. WOW! Thank you. I just finished my first Half and I struggled explaining to the doubters why I worked so hard to do it. Not only for myself, but for my kids. You nailed it. SO looking forward to your IM Finish! GO SBM!

  4. I *almost* want to train for an IM after reading this, but at least I will think differently about the training for my sprint that is coming up.

  5. A pregnant mom to be of a little girl shouldn’t read stuff like this 12 days out from her due date.

    By far one of the best dedications yet!

  6. How beautiful. 🙂 Having my oldest girl (10) read it, because it’s better than I could say. Your Stella is a lucky bug.

  7. So beautifully written! A special tribute that I’m sure Stella will cherish!

  8. You go girl! I thought I was the only one who said I tri for my kids. Some people think I’m selfish for being a Mom, triathlete and flight attendant. I found your website only this week, but you have inspired me to keep plugging away! Your blog is very personal and I completely relate. Thank you for being an awesome writer…there are so many more lives you touch of women who just read and don’t comment. Good luck on race day , your family is lucky to have you!!!

  9. Whoa. Totally choked up on that one. I’m not a mom, but I am a newbie triathlete so I can imagine what a beautifully strong statement rockin’ an Ironman will be for your kids. Thanks for sharing. My very best friend is doing the Iroman CDA, too. Hope you run into her. Figuratively, of course. 🙂

  10. Dang it!! This is so beautiful and so inspiring! Those days when you feel you just can’t get out that door to do yet another run, bike or swim this is what pushes and helps! Our families, our loved ones who are supporting, cheering and sacrificing for us to do this insane and crazy thing! Recently I have been questioning what in the HE-double hockey sticks I am doing! Who the HE-double hockey sticks do I think I am? I am grateful to you for reminding me WHY I do this! I can keep moving forward and I will cross that finish line, in my time (at night time too :)) and it will be a glorious moment for all of us!! Thank you once again!

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