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The Sub-Thirty 5k…That Never Was

The Expert, the Swim Bike Kids and I set out for Tribble Mill Park today… for my birthday weekend 5k.  Okay, so we didn’t plan it for my birthday, but I thought a nice, solid 5k would be a nice way to get my butt in gear again.

I ran this route in a race last year, and it took me 36 minutes.  The Expert and I were plotting how to get me under a 30 minute 5k, which would actually be a 2:19 record from my best 5k time ever.

To my credit, I haven’t run a 5k in well over a year. Since my focus has been longer distances, I just haven’t had a fun 5k.

So I had the plan, with the help of the Expert, to destroy my 5k PR:
Run Mile 1 at 11 minute pace.
Run Mile 2 at 10 minute pace.
And bust it the last mile at a 9 minute pace.

I was ready. Had my cheering squad with me.  Had my skull scully.  Had my new winter gear and my pigtail braids.

Today was the day that I was taking a sub-thirty 5k for my own!


And we were off. [I love the start video – not for the quality, but for the sounds. Those are my kids. Love it.]

So I took off, and I was feeling great. I had run for a few minutes before, was nice and warmed-up, and I was pacing about 8:45 minute mile – which is scary fast for me…

But I felt great. [Oooops, I had already thrown out my race plan.]

About the half mile mark, I saw the kids and the Expert and I was still pacing about 9:00 mile.

My form was not heinous.  At least not that bad.  I was going!!  Then came the giant hills. Even still, I made it up the massive climbs, still pacing well. This is great!!! I thought.

And then it happened.

Attention! Swim Bike Klutz! Swim Bike Klutz!

I had finally caught up with my running nemesis, right about the 0.9 mile marker (he was about 85 years old, and had been beating me for almost the first mile)… I was talking him on the hill!  Ahahaahahha!  You’re going down!!

Twisssssssst!  Snap!  #*@&$@#*&*^#!

I rolled my left ankle. (The same one I sprained back in July)…  (No, not the broken one.  That was another time.)  I rolled my ankle on what would appear to be nothing. Swim Bike Klutz reared her ugly, pigtailed head again.  Chrissie Wellington as “Muppet” has got nothing on me.

So I hobbled and sat down on a bench for a minute.  I looked down at my watch and pressed “stop.”   I had gone 0.9 miles.  My time was 8:41.  And I had hobbled and sat on the bench before stopping.

I looked at my watch again. Holy guacamole.  That was smoking fast for me. Smoking.  If I could have kept that up for the remaining 2.2 – even kept it up, kind of? …Well, my only conclusion is that my sub-thirty 5k would have happened, and instead…it slipped right through my klutzy grasp.

So I’m fine (I think).  It’s another minor sprain, from what I can tell.  I’m icing. I’m elevating. The Expert so graciously took the kids away for the rest of the morning, so I can mope and ice without, “Mommy will you please put on your robot leg again?” and “Mommy, why didn’t you get a medal?” 

I had a sour face on the drive home.

“You really blew the chance at a good blog,” the Expert said in the car.  “A sub-30 5k would have been great to report.”

I scrunched my face at him. “Ah,” I said, “I’ll just write about my klutziness.”

He snickered, “I’m pretty sure everyone is tired of reading about your broken feet and ankles.”  Hurmph.

Well, sorry guys.  That’s all I have to report today. Swim Bike Klutz in thermal pants.

…But I do have some positive spin on this crapola morning.

Tomorrow is my 33rd birthday.  I have always known that 2013 and my 33rd year were going to be the super luckiest year of my life. I have thought that since I loved the pitcher, Steve Avery, with the Atlanta Braves in early 1990s (he was #33) and later, as I wore the #33 on my sports jerseys wherever I could.  33 has been my number.

So with this twist of 5k fate, I am leaving all my klutziness, bad habits and shenanigans behind— in my age 32 year. So there. This sub-thirty 5k didn’t happen. But there will be so many more in the future.

I am making way for all the awesome things that my age 33 year has to bring.  Mainly, a healthier way of life.  Oh, and an Ironman.

…And I’m coming to get you 5k.  You’re on my radar.


As many of you know, I received my book proof yesterday. To hold it in my hands… was so unreal.
Signed pre-orders have shipped. And it *just* became available on Amazon.


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