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The Gloomy Side

I’ve been kinda quiet for the last week, because I am in a rut. 

And when I am in a rut, I feel that I don’t have anything useful to blog about.  Do I have funny things to blog about?  But of course! (Like stealing my five year old son’s Make-a-Smore kit and using it to make my very own one-serving Smore. And eating it. And pretending like I didn’t know what happened to it. Okay, maybe that’s just bad parenting. Moving on…) 

When I don’t have anything useful to say, I tend to retreat into my Gloomy Cave. When I started blogging in 2010, I wrote down everything–good and bad.  And I do post honestly here and now, but sometimes I guess that I am lying by…omission. By not blogging anything, I may not be telling the truth.  

I feel like I have too many of you guys “counting on me” now, and I am scared that if you know I am stealing my kid’s smores and wandering to the kitchen in search of beer… you will gasp, call me a fraud and abandon your “fearless leader.”

[Me. I’m the fearless leader. In case you were wondering. Ah-hem.]

Things that are good: 
1) I have a family who loves me (most of the time);
2) I have a job that pays me; and
3) I have all the things I “need.”

Things that are bad:
1) My eating habits;
2) My triathlon training; and
3) My emotional state.

Oy vey to the bad. 

This could be considered something on the good list. New Swim MP3. This was a “need” for my 5000+ meter swims that are in my Ironman training future.

So in dissecting my gloominess, here’s what is fact:
The “big” things are in tact….family, work, shelter. 

The “little” things are all out of whack. But the “little” things are, in my mind, also very big things.  My training? HUGE to me. My emotional state? Well, that’s important to keep in check.  And finally, we all know how my fat rolls and eating impacts everything. Everything.

But alas, another lesson in perspective. 

I posted this post about my great results on the new eating plan… and that was ONE week ago. ONE WEEK!  That’s all. I’ve had ONE BAD WEEK (which included a half marathon, for Pete’s sake. How BAD is that?) 

But I’ve also been very sick. Probably the sickest I’ve been in eight years. So I’ve missed out on my training, which makes for a cranky mama.

I have lots of SBM friends who are counting on me to spout out words of encouragement about making it happen and just moving forward and Don’t Pants Your Poop… but really, I’m just ME… just ole Swim Bike Mom, who is in a rut.  I hate to admit it, especially now that I’m coaching a handful of great beginner and intermediate athletes–I want them to believe in themselves AS MUCH as I believe in them. And then I post something like this… they will probably want a refund and to get a new coach. “My coach is crazy.” (Which reminds me, I still have TWO more slots for athletes. Not that you want a crazy coach or anything… but…)

Sigh.

Anyway, I guess I’m needing some help from you guys.  To snap me out of it.  To tell me, “Get your SBM Butt Pudding moving again and stop complaining.” I know this in my head, but someone needs to snap me out of it. [But be kind, for I am very close to calling Pizza Hut.]

After today, wearing an entire outfit of grey clothes, having a bad week and spending a ridiculous amount of time moping, I’m trying to pull myself out of it. SO.  Tomorrow, I declare the bad week shenanigans to be over. Tomorrow is a new day. Full of sunshine and balanced, metabolically efficient meals. Back to the comfort of my green smoothies, and my workouts.

 Yes. That’s it.

Amen.

=======================================

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38 Comments

  • Heather Adams

    November 7, 2012 at 5:48 pm

    I go to this site because it feels like a real person is talking about the exact same things I feel. My training has sucked the last 2 weeks and I don’t have the excuse of being sick, my eating habits have been not tri worthy and I feel like ass because of all the above!! Yes I love your positive posts because you seem so “normal” and I can relate. With normalcy comes bad days and darn it all if this post doesn’t motivate me because it reminds me that I am normal and the day isn’t over!!! I have time for a run after work!! Thanks for blogging!!!

    Reply
  • Sally Young

    November 7, 2012 at 5:55 pm

    I hear ya on the rut. I finished Ironman Florida this past weekend…and now after the sore muscles have gone and all that yummy motivation is gone……now what? Perhaps Idaho might need my presence next June? That might kick me up the ass…..whatddyathink???

    Reply
  • Melinda

    November 7, 2012 at 5:58 pm

    You inspired me to lose weight after my half on 10/20/12. I’m down 8.2 pounds in 15 days! We all have days that aren’t that great, you will be back in no time. Being honest about it and owning it will make it come back faster!

    Reply
  • Blake Casares

    November 7, 2012 at 6:00 pm

    Your bad days are still motivating to me! You have accomplished so much and have taught me that really anything is possible. I’m eating better because of you (and Ilana), I have set higher goals in the tri/running world after following you and have focused on my kids more too! You have made me better & it’s all because you are just being you – the good and the bad! No pressure to be perfect. So, a big THANK YOU for all you do! We are here with you no matter what life brings -Gloom shroom, it happens to us all!

    Reply
  • Traci

    November 7, 2012 at 6:00 pm

    If you didn’t have bad days, you wouldn’t be real, I think you would seem fake because we ALL have days/weeks like you are having. If you were always perfect and peppy… I think we would probably get annoyed with you AND ourselves thinking WE are failing for not being as perfect as you! Your blogs are always entertaining… you are a great writer and I can’t wait to read your book = ) (But sorry you are having a bad week… I like that you declare the bad week shenanigans over tomorrow!! lol)

    PS… do not order the pizza!! It’s not cheat meal day yet!!

    Reply
  • Aimee

    November 7, 2012 at 6:03 pm

    Oh man. Take it easy on yourself! You are human. And a woman…this happens to me once a month. You know. THAT time of the month. You are probably having a bad hormonal month. Your body and mind will snap out of it soon enough. You shouldn’t feel guilty or feel like your a bad person. You are just like everybody else. Peaks and valleys. And you are sick!!!! Everyone has a rut they need to climb out of every once in a while. You are amazing and hardworking and ass kicking. You are tired at the moment. Set yourself some smaller goals to meet each day and maybe you will feel more accomplished? Or just be at peace with the fact that you might need a minute to DO NOTHING and be okay with it. As long as its not forever, I think you are gonna be just fine. 🙂

    Reply
  • Melissa

    November 7, 2012 at 6:07 pm

    I wish I could be more helpful. I am sort of in a personal rut. thankfully, I turn to working out and kicked the treadmill’s butt today. But then I didn’t do anything productive once I got home. Not happy with some economic issues. I probably need to get a job. Hubs won’t approve of the one I want, since it is a networking job and not one that I just go to and do. Boo!

    Reply
  • Jill Mitsch

    November 7, 2012 at 6:21 pm

    Been there! After the Nike half marathon last month I was down for the count for a week with a cold…my advice? Take this as your body telling you to rest a little…enjoy the downtime even if it makes you ansty. You have had an amazing year of races and some down time may be key and you will be raring to go for the IM training. and, So chillax and watch some awesomely bad bravo tv…

    Reply
  • Jan

    November 7, 2012 at 6:25 pm

    So sorry you’ve been in a rut. So, tomorrow put on your big girl panties and go for a run. A short run. Then eat well. Hug your kids randomly during the day. And tell your husband you love him. Tell Andy you love him too. I promise your day will brighten.

    Reply
  • Katie

    November 7, 2012 at 6:44 pm

    You’ve gotta take some stress off your shoulders! I don’t want to read about some perfect triathlete (I was a little irritated when I thought your training was going so much better than mine). I want to read about someone who struggles like I do and who deals with the same problems like I do. YOu just put it to paper and hash it out. That helps all of us to learn to be real. Guess what? You’re going to have lots of bad days or weeks during IM training. I did. I had probably a lot more than you will have. But next weekend I”m doing IMAZ and I am going to finish. And next year you’ll do CDA and you’ll finish too! Big picture thinking helps so much during the training but it sounds like you’re a lot like me where you get in a funk and it’s hard to snap out. Luckily you have all of us to help!

    Reply
  • Pam

    November 7, 2012 at 6:53 pm

    Thank God your human! For as much as I feel for you being in the “dumps” – it was so refreshing to read that your life isn’t always sunshine and roses either. Now stop moping and go exercise!

    Reply
  • Lisa

    November 7, 2012 at 7:09 pm

    I love how honest you are. I love that you are just like “us”. I love that you have days now and again and need a little bit of “atta girl” to get your arse movin’. One of my fav quotes is this-“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “i will try again tomorrow”. Mary Anne Radmacher
    The reason I love it is because tomorrow we get a do over. No matter what an epic fail today was (Lord knows I have more than my share), tomorrow is a clean slate. So go to sleep tonight know that you can put on your red sweater and boots tomorrow and drink that awful green stuff and be on track again. All is well~

    Reply
  • Kristy

    November 7, 2012 at 7:45 pm

    I’m glad to see that you are human, which is why I started reading your blog. Shrug off the bad week and start fresh tomorrow. No biggie. Tomorrow is a new day!

    Reply
  • colleen

    November 7, 2012 at 7:57 pm

    I’m in a rut. A superstorm sandy rut here on the jersey shore. And now the first major snowfall of the year rut. Waiting for my power to go back out I eat out of extreme stress. but I go with it and you, Swim Bike Mom are awesome and your rut will be over soon.

    Reply
  • Kristin

    November 7, 2012 at 7:59 pm

    OMG…..I swear we must be kindred spirits……dragged home big-ass bottle of wine tonight (which I haven’t done since before HIM), flannel jammies on….turned over phone to hubby to play Angry Birds in order to keep him occupied…..I need to live closer to you, you would have been making 2 smores…….but remember – this funk is only temporary….weekend is almost here, and yes – the fridge is stocked with beer, and gasp – two candy bars. On we go….

    Reply
  • Deb

    November 7, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    Maybe you are experiencing a little “burnout.” You’ve been training like crazy for so many races, and now with this new diet (which I’ve started, too and feel much better although lbs not melting off), you just need a break. I know you have to stay on a strict training regimen for your full IM, but maybe consider taking a full week off any swim/bike/run workouts and do something different (yoga, pilates, walks with the kids, hikes, etc). There has to be some time in the “off” season for rest. November seems like a good time to do it! 🙂

    Reply
  • Carrie

    November 7, 2012 at 9:17 pm

    To add to the “Positive” column – great sunglasses! But really – you are all the more inspiring because you’re honest about how tough life can be sometimes. Hang in there!

    Reply
  • Mindy

    November 7, 2012 at 9:23 pm

    I agree with everyone who says, we love you because you are honest! I recently read your blog about your half iron to my class. I wanted them to learn that when you are honest in your writing people connect with you. They especially loved the parts where you peed yourself :). Thanks for this and all your posts!

    Reply
  • Donna

    November 7, 2012 at 10:29 pm

    Thank you for being real & being your awesome self! I would be LESS inspired if you just sailed through this, tra la la, look at me and my perfect life. As a mere mortal, how could I possibly live up to that?! There will be more sunshine soon. There will be more imperfect days. You have demonstrated courage often, and you are definitely showing it now by having the guts to write this post. I am more encouraged to stick with it now. Thank you so much & sending you a BIG HUG!!

    Reply
  • Susan A

    November 7, 2012 at 10:42 pm

    After I finished my very first Half-Marathon two weeks ago, I was on cloud nine. I wore my shirt AND medal to work, had lots of “way to go”s on my facebook and even you-SBM-tweeted me!! thank you!. Two days later I was so “down”. I think after a race (even if it is “only” 13.1 miles!) and even if you have done them before, the days after can be sort of letdown. The dishwasher still needs to be emptied. Trash still goes out. The dog needs to be fed (let alone the family). But no finisher’s shirt, and definitely no medal…life goes back to normal. I was myself again in a couple of days, but I think I had some post-race blues. I love that you are so real in your writing. It’s good to know that it is not just me–that even SBM gets in ruts! I am sorry that you are going through it, but I am so glad you are sharing it! Rest, get well, and be kind to yourself–the rut will eventually even out.

    Reply
  • Denise Moyer

    November 7, 2012 at 11:25 pm

    It is your ability to be transparent that has attracted so many followers, and that same trait continues to inspire us all. It’s all good, friend! BE WHO YOU ARE, not who you think others need you to be. You are AMAZING, even if your gloomy or crabby. I love you bunches!

    Reply
  • Half-Crazed Runner

    November 8, 2012 at 10:25 am

    No one is perfect. I go through sweet cravings 2X per month – it helps to pay attention to my cycle. The best thing you can do is to keep thoughts positive – I really believe in “put-ups”. For every time you put yourself down – give yourself 2 put-ups. Your honesty is commendable.

    Reply
  • Cindy Bryl

    November 8, 2012 at 10:58 am

    Isn’t your motto ‘just keep moving forward’? Well then…. But seriously, I don’t know how many times I fell into the trap you are in right now during my Ironman training. And how many times I thought ‘just keep moving forward’. You will experience this many times over the next 10 + months. YOU CAN”T BE PERFECT so adjust accordingly. And what’s with the 5,000+ meter swims. That is just insane. Are you trying to swim the English Channel the day after the race? Seriously, I could see 5,000m once maybe twice throughout the training but only if you are afraid of the swim. 4,000 tops.

    Reply
  • TriFatty

    November 8, 2012 at 1:43 pm

    I’ve been mired in a rut, too. Nothing to train for; having trouble getting motivated to build base over the winter. I think I am going to sign up for the Rev3 Knoxville Oly. Maybe having a post-race beer with you will get me motivated.

    Reply

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