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When I started this post, it was 8:56 in the morning… exactly 48 hours until I jump into the cold Savannah river and FLY downstream in my second half Iron at Augusta.  FLY.  Zoom.  All things I will be doing on Sunday.  Oh wait… nope, I’m thinking of another triathlete again. What is wrong with me?

Last year, I would think about my race and I would have a cold chill rush over me. Sickness. Fear.  Then I’d have to poop. No matter where I was.  Brakes squealing – pulling the car over.  Poop poop, I gotta poop. Poop Poop.  The kids were all, “Mooooommmmm, what is wrong with you?” Mom’s gotta poop. Poop.  It’s really nice not to have that issue this time.


I’ve posted that video before, but I can’t help but repeat: “Don’t Pants Your Poop.. Don’t Pants Your Poop…”

There’s alot to be said for having done one of these  distances before.  Even though I just got a mild sickness and fear in my gut just now…  [Huh. But no poop, so that’s good.]

Okay, truth be told:  I am not afraid. Not because I’m overly confident (ah-hem… hello, where would you get that idea?  Please read old posts.) Rather, I think because this course is in Augusta — I have so many friends racing, my parents will be there —I should see the Expert on the run course (although I will see no Monster – that dude will be at home with his bloody mary before I start the run). So this race truly feels more like a celebration than Miami did.  For example, even our favorite waiter at our local Mexican restaurant is racing.  [Lord, help me not scream, “Nestor! Help! Margarita with saaaaaaaalt!” if I see him on the course.]

Plus, I have grown up since this time last year. Pure and simple, I can look back over the last two years in triathlon and acknowledge that things have changed. Not just because triathlon is part of my life. It’s bigger than that. 

In the past year, I have been able to admit who I am… and who I am not.

And that takes a scary kind of self-reflection, because sometimes you may not like the answers.  I found out that I didn’t like my answers. And I have been painfully honest with myself.  I have to work on so many things in my life.  I have made mistakes. I am working on coming out of them. I work every day, and then I work some more.

Things I Am Not:
1) A zealous lawyer
2) A fashionista
3) A movie star (so I should stop spending money like one)
4) An interior designer
5) A size 0, 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12

Things I Am:
1) A wife
2) A mother
3) A daughter and granddaughter
4) A writer
5) A triathlete.

And in much of the same fashion as my prior posts this week… I am choosing to spend the next forty-eight hours focusing on my second list: what I am… And I will not dwell on what I am not.

I am a triathlete.

Augusta… here we come!

So on Sunday, I will do a triathlon.  It’s that simple.  And during that race, I will reflect on the other things on my second list. That I am a wife.  A mom to two great (insane) kids. A daughter and granddaughter to amazing parents and grandparents. I will be grateful. I will cry.  I will think about that father and son I met on the trail last year, and wonder if they reached their goals last year.

And after I have experienced the gauntlet of emotions that only a race of 70.3 miles can bring…  I will cross the finish-line, full-circle… ending with the original thought from my second list…

I am a triathlete.

Because that’s why we do triathlon.  To feel alive. To be grateful. To find a place and space in our lives to appreciate what we have, and pray to continue getting better, inside and out.

Thank you ALL for your encouragement. I love you all.  And finally, good luck to all of you racing!  See you at the finish line (save me some bananas and the little ring cookies).

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21 Responses

  1. I Just love this post, I feel like you wrote it just for me:) I started tri’s this year, completed 5 sprints and I just fell in love with the sport. I too am not “little”, actually got into a size 10 for the first time in years due to all of my training:) I have three kids under the age of 7, they are crazy and adorable and they are the reason I “tri”! To see how proud they are of me after a race makes all of the training worth it! Good luck this weekend and I can not wait to track your progress. Me and a few of my fellow tri-friends are considering our first half next year, Timberman. I am scared to death and I need to do a lot of soul searching before registration opens in Nov. but I am seriously considering it…..I think I have lost my mind:)

  2. You’re going to do excellent. Thank you for your post. I have been beating up myself a bit too much about the things I am not. Great reminder that sometimes we just need to let it go and focus on the things that we are. You’re a fantastic triathlete! Keep it up!

  3. Ok, I’ll admit…I got a bit teary reading your post! You have come such a long way since I met you shortly after starting your tri journey. It’s been incredible to “watch,” and I feel honored that you have adopted me as a friend. Can’t wait to hear all about your race. It’s gonna be great!

  4. Wonderful, reflective post! One thing that I did during the Nashville Marathon was I ran each mile for someone that I knew who needed a few extra prayers/good karma/etc. I ran the last five miles for me, my hubby and each of my kiddos. It really helped me get through the tough spots. Augusta is a great race, especially the swim and run since you’ll get to see your peeps a bunch. You’re gonna do great! Oh yeah, and if a big guy w/a beard gives you a shout-out on the run, he’s doing it for me. :0) Can’t wait to hear your post-race report!!!

  5. You will ROCK it!!! Hope you do it again next year because I plan to be there!!! Can’t wait to read all about it!

  6. Good luck SBM. I found you about a year ago and have loved you since that day. Enjoy your race this weekend – it’s the victory lap, right?! You’ll be great. And if, in the middle of the course, you get smooshy-faced and teary-eyed, know that we are all smooshy-faced, teary-eyed and proud of you too!

  7. Praying “no flats” for you! I’ve already got a Sunday afternoon celebratory margarita planned in your honor! Rock it, girl.

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