I was having a long conversation with a friend this morning. And I love conversations when you talk with someone who totally gets you–such amazing things come out.
In our discussion, I mentioned how so many people I know have started the triathlon lifestyle and they have it all figured out. They instantly lose their “baby” weight, they get “fast” and have so much awesome oozing out of their pores, that they shine bright like diamonds wherever they go. I’m not being sarcastic. I mean–they have made the change and they are passionate and awesome–and they have acheived their goals and dreams. They figured out how to swim and bike and run, and they love it.
And when I see these transformations (emotional, spirital, physical and/or otherwise), I am so excited. I know several athletes and friends who have done just this, and WOW–what amazing inspirations they are to their friends and family (and me!). They worked hard. They figured it out. They “did it!” And yes, I love having people like that in my life–because they push me to be better.
But… not everyone has such a clear, straight path to figuring it all out.
Not everyone makes this miraculous, instant and magical “transformation” in their lives. That’s the case of the others.
The others?
Yes. Well, some of us others. The mere mortals who are grasping and trying and hoping to figure out what in the world is going on–in our lives, with our bodies, with our minds.
Those of us who start triathlon and stall… start again… hope, dream, do, then fall. And fall again, and start and fall. And start over.
Those of us who never really never figure everything out, or shine like diamonds after one single race season. That it’s a really long process to learn to swim… and run… and cycle.
Those of us who get in our Spandex and just pray that it will start lightning so we don’t have to ride. (Not that I’ve ever done this. Nope, never.)
Those of us, despite completing tons of bona fide races and triathlons, still feel like frauds and failures and cheats …because we don’t “look” or “feel” the part, for whatever reason.
But here’s the deal.
We all shine like diamonds! No, seriously. Go for a thirty minute ride–and ta da! Sweat! Shine like a diamond, you beast!
Especially this fashionista:
But in all seriousness, some folks take longer to get to that place–whether it’s a real place or a place in our heads. (You like my use of “folks”? Yeah you do! I’m from the South, baby.) Some folks start …and stop …and quit and then, start again. The process is tedious and feels like nothing but a path of setbacks and fears and failures.
Some folks have scars and pains that aren’t just going to vanish by running and racing.
The struggles are mountains and the pain is real and terrifying, and the solutions is not as simple as: I stopped eating bread and I run all the time and I have perfect form and *poof* NOW I am awesome. (I wish it was. I could stop bread easily. Ice cream? Not so much…)
For some of us, the process to getting to our goals (fitness, race, or whatever) is longer and filled with more bumps and bruises.
And you know what? That’s okay too.
I am speaking to YOU today… you, my fellow “others.”
Today is Friday, and it’s the first day of our awesome.
Because today is an opportunity to make changes. To feel hope. To breathe in that hope and worthiness and grace.
Let this sport be one of the guiding, positive forces in your life–not a crippling whip that continues to beat you and tell you that you aren’t good enough.
Let triathlon show you the good in your life (I have a bike! I have shoes! I am able to run!), and the amazing athlete (yes, athlete) that you are are. (Not just the one you are working to be.)
Let triathlon show you how far you have come.
Let triathlon make you believe that you are awesome. (Because you are.)
I wrote once in a post: “Today, I’m trying to treat myself and life around me with a little more fragility. A little less stomping around, and a little more cuddling. Lots of hope. And looking on the bright side of things.”
As for me… that’s exactly where I am right now.
Soaking in another rainy day, ready to get back to training… ready to start over and keep the hope alive.
Hope for what, exactly?
Perfection? Nope.
Hope for the ability to move forward, be brave, be thankful and keep going… even with crazy setbacks.
Some of us folks have scars, yes.
But scars are full of character. They are constant reminders of how far we have come, and where we’d like to go.
Keep the faith. Just keep moving forward… and love to you all, my shiny, diamond friends. 🙂
THANK YOU for sharing this. It spoke to me on every level and then some and it was hard to choke back the tears. I had to because i have to pick up my son in carpool in 15 minutes, didn’t want to get water works going that would be hard to stop. I am so surprised at how often I go, OMG, tears streaming (happy or stressed or sad tears), and think how on earth is she in my head? Your honesty is a blessing my friend, and I thank you so very much.
I think if you talked to those people who are *poof* amazing, you would find plenty to connect with. It really sort of bothers me a bit that this all seems to be about being skinny. That having triathlon figured out and meeting all your hopes and dreams boils down to being really thin. That’s certainly not what it’s about for me. Is that what you find with most women who tri? That their goals are primarily weight based? Or did I read something into this that you did not intend?
Thank you for sharing this. This is me completely, as is most of your posts, they seem to resonate with me in a way that people in my day-to-day life don’t understand. I don’t think it’s ever about being skinny, but it is about looking like we are doing what we are doing! I can swim, bike, run farther than most people I know yet I am heavier than most people I know. And when I meet strangers, they don’t look at me and go ‘oh well she must be a triathlete look at how fit she is!’, no I think they see me and go ‘wow I can’t believe she does triathlons and she is that big’. I know I have to get over my own perception of how I look, and keep reminding myself that I am amazing, that I can do anything that I set my mind to, and that I am achieving my goals. It may take me longer to get to my weight loss goal than most people but I’m enjoying the journey.
I really needed this
I love this post 😀 I’ve introduced quite a few friends to endurance sport and it is hard when they seem ‘natural’ at it when I just keep in struggling! I am happy for them, of course, but it IS hard. I think aiming to ‘be brave, be thankful and keep going’ is a wonderful aim.
I just went back and read your post about worthiness – amen, sister! I’ve had a lot of help with my shame/worthiness issues from reading Brene Brown – have you read any of her stuff ? Good book is ‘I thought it was just me’ cheers and thanks for your great blog
Just found your blog today while looking for (yes this is what I Googled) “fat girl triathlon wear” after realizing I am indeed seriously going to be doing my first tri in June. I kind of knew finding something that would fit both my butt and my boobs would be hard, and had resolved to just wear a mans suit until I found your site. Really enjoying the read, thank you for sharing your life with us! PS: I’m one of those scarred types, but too stubborn to quit trying.
Thank you for witting this!
Thank You, I needed this today 🙂
You did it again! Thank you for writing just what I needed to hear today.
Meredith,
Once again you state the truth.. I’m not a diamond…I’m an other….I get second looks when I tell people I’ve completed a few half marathon races and one 26.2… And they look at the size of my belly, look at my face…then look away.
I hope to complete a Triathlon….figuring out the mom, job, kid balance is a challenge..and I know my tribe of others will be supportive!
I was going to respond but you have written exactly what I would have said. It’s not about how the car looks but rather about what’s under the hood.
Thanks for getting me and calming my insecurities and fears.
The way I read it was that she meant that those who have it all “figured out” right away somehow just know how to manage triathlon, and life, and family, and work. It may be that weight loss is part of it – because that’s something we can all see on the outside and easily assume that since Sally dropped the weight after her first season and finished really well that she is a “diamond.” But really, she may not feel like she is one of those people herself!
I didn’t read anything about weight loss/being skinny, I read it more as we’re all on our own journeys and some of us take a much more winding path to our happy place than others!
So very glad I found your blog/website. I am a newbie. This site is motivating me so much. I just wanted to ask – what do folks do when they start out on this journey and find their friends and people they thought cared and loved them are unsupportive or seem resentful? I am finding this a big challenge right now. Any advice is welcomed.
Thanks so much!
Soot, I’m not sure how to ask this other than to just ask: do other people make you responsible for their happiness? If people are resenting you doing something good for you, then it they must be selfishness on their part. Prove to them you are strong by finishing your first race with a smile! Good luck!