Signing up for your first triathlon is a rush to the head, a kick to the butt… and a terrifying decision.
Whether you tell no one about your race, or whether you blog about it from the get-go… that first step – the registration process – is a big move.
Almost immediately after hitting the “confirm payment” button, the Brain starts sending signals all over the place.
Brain: Hey, Body. Nice check you just wrote. Think you can cash it?
Body: Shut up, Brain. She needs to do this. She’s getting fatter by the minute. But… she is really out of shape. I’m not sure it’s really possible. This might be a bad gig.
Brain: Hey Job, Husband and Kids. Do you think she has time to do this?
Job: Yeah, Brain… I’m not sure now that you mention it. I mean, I am very time consuming and her boss is a total a-hole, and I’m not thinking she can squeeze in these workouts…
Kids: Mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommmmmmmy….
Husband: Am I going to have to watch the Kids while you are out doing this mess? Because I just don’t think that’s going to cut it. And can we have sex now please?
Brain: And Bills? What about you, Bills? How are you going to afford that bike?
Bills: Good point, Brain. She can’t even pay the credit card. How can she buy shoes? A bike? A heart rate monitor. Ha. What a joke.
Brain: So I’m pretty sure that you, Body, Bills, Job, Husband and Kids all agree that this triathlon thing is a bad idea, right? I mean where’s the time? The money? The patience. She needs to forget about this. Hey – we forgot about Sleep? How are you feeling about those early morning work outs, Sleep?
Sleep: What? 5am workouts? You have to be kidding me. Brain, this is insane. Insane in the membrane. Triathlon? Zzzzzzzzzz….
Brain: Good. So we all agree that triathlon is a waste of time, energy and most of all impossible for this overweight, overworked and tired woman.
Heart: (entering conversation like a superhero!) No way! She can do this! She must do this! She will find a way! She must find a way! Body – you just better listen to her and move forward as she says…step step swim swim. You just go and don’t ask questions. Bills – you just wait! She’ll sell those old golf clubs and even that diamond necklace for a bike…it’s that important. Job- You are the root of so many problems, but training is going to make her more focused, healthier and happier to where she can put up with your sh*t. Kids! Don’t you want a healthy, happy and sane mommy!?? Hush your whining and give her a chance to do something for herself! Husband, just take a Relax-a-Taxi to a happy place for a bit. Your wife needs to do this. Why don’t you run too? You are getting pretty chunky monkey yourself. Hey, you might even get more sex out of it. Just saying. Sleep, just go to bed earlier. Problemo solved. Finally, Brain. Oh…. Brain Brain Brain. Some things are greater than ourselves. You need to join my team. Because when the Heart and Brain join forces… they can’t be stopped!!! She will be strong of soul and mind, and you will be a major component to her success. But don’t stand in the way. Brain, this Heart needs you.
The moral of the story:
Quiet your brain. Follow your heart. Yes. You. Can. No Excuses. Amen.