Coach Monster calls me Grasshopper.

Not that we are talking Kung Fu around here, but sometimes I feel that way. Plus, Coach Monster usually responds to my naive triathlon issues with short, declarative sentences.  So I often imagine him meditating in a dojo somewhere, picking up his iPhone, typing wise things to me every so often… then returning to his zenlike state (all the while, randomly karate chopping anybody that crosses him).

For example, I am bemoaning my weight issues today, and declaring it the Official Eat Nothing Ever Again day.


Coach Monster: “Not eating… is the wrong path, grasshopper, especially as we continue to ramp up the training…you need to fuel properly to support your body before, during and after training.”

Me: “But how can I carry this body across a half iron distance?”

Coach Monster: “You will figure out how.”

He is tough, but very kind and nurturing, as shown at my first open water swim experience.

I love having a coach for a million reasons:  the no-thinking about the workouts aspect is nice, the hand-holding is awesome, and the wisdom is so very valuable.  Coach Monster is married and has two daughters…so I also think he understands how women operate.  And that bodes well for me.

When I start to doubt myself, he reminds me of how far I have come. When I complain, he refuses to listen. But when I fall apart, he shows me mercy.

My favorite CM quote is:  “You can do the workouts, grasshopper, as long as you get out of your own head and your own self-limitations.”

And how true. Yes, Master.

3 Responses

  1. Oh man. How true. I needed that last bit today about getting out of your own head. I have struggled greatly the last few weeks on my long runs and have in fact given up and cut them short. It's horrible because I know for a fact that I can do it!!!! I just tell myself that I can't. So a thanks to coach monster and you grasshopper as I'll keep you in my thoughts on my 13 mile long run on Saturday.

  2. Meredith – I just finished reading Racing Weight, and it has some great information about proper fueling for endurance athletes, and losing excess body fat (which I also need to do). It's great because it's specifically for endurance athletes, whom obviously "diet books" are not for.

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